The coldest and hottest human emotion. What are emotions? List of emotions. Practical tasks for the seminar

1. Correct the text so that it is correct from the point of view of psychology.

I felt the cold of the tombstone, and in my soul I felt the horror of everything that was happening.

2. Match the properties of emotions and their characteristics.

Emotions
Property	Characteristic
1. Partiality 2. Integrity 3. Plasticity 4. Adaptation 5. Summation 6. Ambivalence 7. Dynamism 8. Communication 9. Contagiousness 10. Anticipation 11. Multiplicity 12. Irradiation 13. Generalization	a) the spread of emotional experience from the circumstances that originally caused it to everything that a person perceives;
b) forecasting the probabilistic outcome of significant events before they occur;
c) dullness, decrease in the intensity of emotional reactions (up to their complete disappearance) with a long repetition of the same influences;
d) the transfer of any emotional state to other people;
e) the dependence of a person's response to various events of his life on the subjective attitude towards them;
f) memorization, preservation and reproduction of emotions upon repeated exposure or presentation of the situation in which they arose;
g) the inconsistency of emotional experience associated with an ambivalent attitude towards something or someone and is characterized by its simultaneous acceptance and rejection;
h) combining individual emotions into more complex emotional formations;
i) the emergence of emotional experiences under the influence of indifferent stimuli similar to emotional ones;
j) combining all the functions of the body into a single whole;
k) temporary development of emotional reactions, which consists in the phase character of their course;
l) the variety of shades of experiencing emotions of one modality, both quantitative and qualitative.
m) transmission through emotional expression (intonation, facial expressions, etc.) of information from one participant in communication to another.

4. Determine which of the listed positive and negative emotions correspond to a state of increased, and which - to a reduced activity of a person. Give examples.

Joy, dreams, fear, indignation, rage, happiness, horror, ecstasy, sadness, sadness, delight, suffering, longing, panic, anger, depression, pleasure, irritation, surprise, interest.

5. Name the "coldest" and "hottest" emotions of a person, the "loudest" and the "quietest", the most "strong" and the "weakest". What emotions, according to K. Izard, form a "hostile triad"?

6. Analyze the following statements. Evaluate their correctness from the point of view of modern psychology of emotions.

1) Human feelings and emotions are of animal origin, and as the psyche develops, they will disappear.

2) A person is sad because he is crying, and not vice versa.

3) The same physiological changes can accompany several different emotions.

4) Feelings are inexpressible in the language of words and movements.

5) Knowledge and activity are impossible without emotions.

6) Reason is always able to take precedence over emotions.

7) The emotional life of a person is fundamentally different from the emotions of animals.

8) Emotions are a source of strength for the nerve cells of the cortex hemispheres, acting as a kind of accumulator of nervous energy.

7. Summarize the meaning of the following statements. Determine what is common and different in emotions and feelings.

1) Emotions are the work of instinct, and feelings are bitterness, sadness, etc. - this is a different article, this is due to the difficulty in the activity of the cerebral hemispheres ... Feelings are associated with the uppermost department, and all of them are tied to the second signaling system. (By I. P. Pavlov)

2) Feelings are more complicated than emotions, since they are influenced not only and not so much by psychophysiological processes, but by the totality of the individual characteristics of the personality, its life experience, worldview and its social relations. ( B. D. Parygin)

3) Emotions do not reflect objects and phenomena of the real world, but the objective relations in which these objects and phenomena are related to the needs of the organism. Emotions, not yet being a form of cognition, cause not an image of an object or phenomenon, but an experience. ( K. K. Platonov)

8. Expand the psychological essence and illustrate the following expressions with examples.

"Naked emotions", "screaming color", "passion-muzzle", "deep feelings", "wild look", "paralysis of feelings", "crazy passion", "disheveled feelings", "not himself", "losing his head ”, “destructive emotions”, “mental confusion”.

9. Prepare for a study discussion on "The Teacher and Stress". Use the recommended literature , , , , , and other sources. Select examples illustrating stressful situations in pedagogical activity and methods for diagnosing stress resistance.

Questions to prepare for discussion during the discussion: 1) General characteristics of stress (concept, types and stages of occurrence); 2) Is it possible to avoid stress in the work of a teacher and should one be afraid of stress; 3) Methods of dealing with stress; 4) Prevention of stress.

Purpose of the discussion: organization of interaction to deepen and consolidate students' knowledge on the topic under study; substantiation of the thesis that stress, as indispensable companions of pedagogical activity, can have both negative and positive effects on teachers; development of recommendations for teachers on the development of skills to resist stress.

Description of the discussion

Introduction. The facilitator (teacher) announces the instruction.

Instruction: “The success of a teacher’s work largely depends on how well he knows how to resist negative influence stress. This skill is one of the most important indicators of the teacher's professionalism. In this regard, today you will discuss the problem of stress in the work of a teacher. To do this, you will first discuss the problem of stress in mini-groups (4-5 students), where everyone can express their point of view on the problem and offer their own techniques and ways to deal with stress and develop skills to resist stress. The result of the work of the minigroup should be 3-5 agreed recommendations. Each mini-group nominates a representative to speak to the whole group.

Work in minigroups. Diagnosis of resistance to stress.

Speeches by representatives of minigroups and discussion of proposals by all members of the group. Each of the participants may agree or disagree with the opinion of other speakers, express their opinion. As a result of the speech, 2-3 recommendations are accepted, which will be included in the general recommendations for teachers.

Presenter's speech, which voices the final version of the recommendations for teachers on the development of skills to resist stress and sums up the discussion.

Similar information.

Seminar No. 16. Emotions and feelings in human relationships

1. Emotions: concept, properties, functions.

2. The place of emotions in the system of mental processes.

3. Emotions, feelings, passions, affects, stress: similarities and differences.

4. The influence of emotions on our psyche.

5. Ways of self-regulation.

Basic concepts: anticipation, attraction, affiliation, insight, pantomime, frustration, empathy, emotional lability .

Practical tasks for the seminar*:

Task 1○. From these concepts, construct a logical series so that each previous concept is generic (more general) in relation to the subsequent ones.

Joy, reflection, feeling, psyche, jubilation.

Task 2○. Fill in the missing words in the following statements.

1. Emotions - ... reflection in the form of experiences ... and ... process and results practical activities.
2. Emotional processes and states in the life of an organism perform ... , ... , ...-... functions.
3. In antiquity, emotional processes were considered as a special kind ... .
4. The biological theory of emotions relates emotions to... .
5. According to the James-Lange theory, the root causes of the emergence of emotional states are ... changes occurring in the body.
6. The Cannon-Bard theory states that emotional experiences and their corresponding ... ... are generated ... .
7. In the theory of cognitive ... L. Festinger, a positive emotional experience occurs when the real results of an activity ... are expected, and a negative one - in conditions of their discrepancy.
8. Z. Freud found that when misinterpreted or ... emotions, their motivational force leads to ... behavior.
9. The theory of differential emotions of K. Izard considers fundamental ... as basic structures ... .
10. According to S. L. Rubinshtein, emotions, as a form of manifestation ... of personality, act as internal ... to activity.
11. ... arises from the ratio of positive or negative results of action to ..., which is the initial motivation.
12. According to A. N. Leontiev, emotions directly reflect the relationship between ... and the realization that responds to them ....
13. According to the information theory, emotion is... the brain of a person or animal of some actual..., ... satisfaction of which the brain evaluates on the basis of genetic and previously acquired individual experience.

Task 3○. Choose the correct answer from the options provided.

1. According to K. Izard, fundamental emotions ... a) form the main motivational system; b) provide affective-cognitive interaction; c) regulate the work of the homeostatic system; d) are regulated by the intellect; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.

1. Anxiety is a complex of emotions... a) grief; b) disgust; c) contempt; d) timidity? e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.
2. Love is a complex feeling that includes... a) a romantic relationship b) interest; c) joy; d) sexual attraction; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.
3. The state of reduced mental activity corresponds to such negative emotions as ... a) dissatisfaction b) sadness; c) sadness; d) longing; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.
4. In activity theory, emotions reflect attitudes... a) between motives and corresponding activities; b) between the goal and the result of the action; c) between sense and meaning; d) between the operation and the conditions for its implementation; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.
5. A distinctive feature of affect is ... a) its substantive nature; b) connection with self-esteem and the level of claims; c) intensification of somatic indicators; d) high intensity; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.
6. Emotions as a component of the structure of emotional processes are ... a) long-term conditions; b) reaction to past events; c) reaction to probabilistic events; d) reaction to the current event; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.
7. Feelings of success, luck, jubilation are primarily associated with ... a) a positive outcome of the activity; b) satisfaction of a physiological need; c) the process of performing an action; d) the relationship of others to the result of activity; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.
8. Human feelings are... a) the emotional background of sensations; b) the organic well-being of the individual; c) experiences associated with the satisfaction of organic needs; d) unobjectified emotional states; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.
9. Higher senses include... a) an intellectual component; b) reflection; c) love; d) aesthetic attitude; e) all answers are correct; e) All answers are wrong.

Task 4○. Into what groups can the listed concepts be divided in principle? Explain the reasons for your classification.

Curiosity; sthenic feelings; astonishment; joyful discovery of truth; attachment; fear; love; interest; inspiration; hostility; bliss; rage; doubt; curiosity; adoration; a guess; the charm; confidence; admiration for a masterpiece of art; pleasure; foreboding; sympathy; displeasure; a sense of the mysterious; excitement; anticipation; a pity; anxiety; passion for work; voluptuousness; depression; empathy; shame; anger; hatred; suffering; frustration.

Task 5○. Using the data on the functional asymmetry of the hemispheres and its role in the formation of emotional reactions, insert the missing words into the text.

In the experiment, healthy subjects were shown short films - separately in the right and left hemispheres (with the help of special lenses). They had to rate the emotional tone of the movie as humorous, pleasant, unpleasant, terrible, and so on. on a 10-point scale. It turned out that... the hemisphere "sees the world" in a more unpleasant, threatening light than... . It has been established that the defeat of certain areas ... of the hemisphere causes a feeling of loss, helplessness, depression, and ... third-party violations, on the contrary, more often lead to complacency, an inadequately positive assessment of the situation, to a good mood despite any difficult circumstances. In addition, the person was unable to adequately perceive the emotional states of others; understanding the meaning of what was said, he did not understand the intonation. In case of...-side defeat, on the contrary, the understanding of the meaning is lost, but the assessment of the emotional coloring of what was said is preserved.

Task 6○. Determine which of the listed positive and negative emotions correspond to a state of increased, and which - to a reduced activity of a person. Give examples.

Joy, dreams, fear, indignation, rage, happiness, horror, ecstasy, sadness, sadness, delight, suffering, longing, panic, anger, depression, pleasure, irritation, surprise, interest.

Task 7○. Complete the old parable. Give an explanation for the described phenomenon.

"Where are you going?" - asked the wanderer, having met with the Plague. "I'm going to Baghdad. I have to kill five thousand people there." A few days later, the same person met the Plague again. "You said you would kill five thousand, but you killed fifty," he reproached her. "No," Plague objected, "I killed only five. The rest died from...".

Problem 8○. Name the "coldest" and "hottest" emotions of a person, the "loudest" and the "quietest", the most "strong" and the "weakest". What emotions form the "hostile triad"?

Problem 9○. Correlate the phases of the thought process and intellectual emotions.

Phases of thinking: formulation of the problem; forming a guess; initial check; accepting a guess.

Intellectual emotions: a guess; the desire to penetrate the essence of the problem; dynamics of doubt-confidence; astonishment; the joy of discovering the truth; satisfaction from obtaining knowledge, from mental work.

Problem 10○. From the proposed list of symptoms (according to E. Lindemann), select those that reflect the symptoms of acute grief with a normal course of reactions and painful reactions that are distortions of normal grief.

Postponement of reactions; constant sighs, especially noticeable when a person talks about his grief; distorted reactions (increased activity without guilt; the appearance in a person of symptoms of the last disease of the deceased); guilt (accusing oneself of inattention to the deceased and exaggerating the slightest missteps); hostile reactions; agitated depression with tension, agitation, insomnia, feeling of worthlessness and need for punishment; loss of behavior patterns; especially violent hostility against certain persons; activity that damages their own economic and social position.

Problem 11○. What are the factors that determine, according to K. Izard, grief. What groups can you divide the following factors into?

Biological response that ensures group cohesion; the habit of smiling in a state of grief; a strong but extremely short-lived experience of grief; loss of affective attachment; the feeling of losing something valuable and loved; the genetic determinant of grief; loss of an attractive quality in oneself; adaptation to loss.

Task 12●. Continue the above statements about the relationship of emotional states with diseases.

1. With constant suppression of outbursts of anger develop ...
2. Sadness that doesn't show up in tears makes...
3. In 80% of cases of myocardial infarction, it was preceded by ...
4. The heart is often affected...
5. Liver diseases are associated with frequent experiences ...
6. Diseases of the stomach are associated with frequent experiences ...

Task 13●. Read the following statements. Determine which of the listed researchers is their author: N. A. Roerich, V. K. Vilyunas, W. James, V. Wundt, A. N. Leontiev, B. Spinoza, P. V. Simonov.

1. [...] defined emotions as states that "increase or decrease the ability of the body itself to act, favor it or limit it."
2. [...] argued: "Bodily excitement follows immediately the perception of the fact that caused it, and our awareness of this excitement while it is happening is emotion."
3. “Emotions,” wrote [...], “play the role of internal signals. They are internal in the sense that they themselves do not carry information about external objects, about their connections and relationships, about those objective situations in which the subject’s activity takes place. The peculiarity of emotions is that they directly reflect the relationship between motives and the implementation of activities corresponding to these motives.

1. "The totality of images associated with the situation that gave rise to a strong emotional experience forms a strong complex in the memory, the actualization of one of the elements of which entails, even against the will of the subject, the immediate "introduction of other elements into the consciousness"".
2. “The whole system of feelings,” he wrote [...], “can be defined as a variety of three dimensions” (pleasure and displeasure, tension and discharge, excitation and calm), “in which each dimension has two opposite directions, excluding each other.”
3. According to the formula proposed [...], the strength and quality of an emotion that has arisen in a person is ultimately determined by the strength of the need and the assessment of the ability to satisfy it in the current situation.
4. “Each joy is already a new path, a new opportunity. And each despondency will already be the loss of even that little that we have at a given hour. Each mutual bitterness, each forgiveness of an offense will already be direct suicide or a clear attempt to it. you will not convince, but the bright "rejoice", the true, like a lamp in the darkness, will dispel all heartfelt embarrassments and eclipses.

Task 14●. Analyze the following statements. Evaluate their correctness from the point of view of modern psychology of emotions.

1. Human feelings and emotions are of animal origin, and as the psyche develops, they will disappear.
2. A person is sad because he cries, and not vice versa.
3. The same physiological shifts can accompany several different emotions.
4. Feelings are inexpressible in the language of words and movements.
5. Without emotions, cognition and activity are impossible.
6. Reason can always take precedence over emotions.
7. The emotional life of man is fundamentally different from the emotions of animals.
8. Emotions are a source of strength for the nerve cells of the cerebral cortex, acting as a kind of accumulator of nervous energy.

Problem 15●. Explain the given historical fact. What caused such a dramatic change in emotional relationships?

In 1848, as a result of an explosion, a metal rod about 1 m long and weighing more than 5 kg pierced the skull of a certain Phineas Gage, a 25-year-old foreman who worked on a railway construction site. Because of this accident, his left frontal lobe was removed as cleanly as could be done with surgery alone. Gage miraculously survived, but his character changed dramatically. Before the injury, he was a likeable, reliable and hardworking person. After his recovery, he became restless, loud, rude, and impulsive. The doctor who observed him wrote that Gage "shows almost no respect for his comrades, reacts irritably to restrictions and advice if they run counter to his desires; he is either unbearably stubborn, then capricious and indecisive; he makes numerous plans for future actions, which remain unfulfilled."

Problem 16●. Summarize the meaning of the following statements. Determine what is common and different in emotions and feelings.

1. Emotions are the work of instinct, and feelings are bitterness, sadness, etc. - this is a different article, this is due to the difficulty in the activity of the cerebral hemispheres ... Feelings are associated with the uppermost department, and all of them are tied to the second signaling system. (By I. P. Pavlov)
2. Feelings are more complicated than emotions, because they are influenced not only and not so much by psychophysiological processes, but by the totality of the individual characteristics of the individual, her life experience, worldview and her social relations. ( B. D. Parygin)
3. Emotions do not reflect objects and phenomena of the real world, but the objective relations in which these objects and phenomena are related to the needs of the organism. Emotions, not yet being a form of cognition, cause not an image of an object or phenomenon, but an experience. ( K. K. Platonov)

Problem 17●. The following is an example from K. Forbes' book "Mama's Bank Account". Explain the emotional shift described.

The girl, on behalf of whom the story is being told, at first, together with her aunts, has a very negative and dismissive attitude towards one of her uncles. It seems to them that he is only busy with himself. Despite the fact that his job, which consists of buying run-down farms, rebuilding and reselling them, it would seem that it would bring a good income, he lives extremely poorly. He aroused hostility by selling some heirlooms taken out of Norway, and, apparently, pocketing the money. Relatives understand that he has his own difficulties. They know that he was injured in childhood and is very lame, but they are outraged by his extreme egocentrism.

When he died, the family gathered for the funeral, not without interest regarding the question of the state he left behind. However, it turned out that he did not leave any money - they found only a small notebook with many entries like: Joseph Spenelli, four years old. Tuberculosis of the left leg. $237. Walks. Jamie Kelly. 9 years. $435. Walks. Estha Jensen. 11 years. Stretch, $121. Sam Bernstein. Five years. Clubfoot. $452.16 walks.

As a result of this additional information, a sharp and persistent shift in emotional state occurs. Why?

Problem 18●. Explain why...

a) when we repeat the word "lemon", does it become sour in the mouth?

b) to suppress a flash of anger, is it good to count to ten?

c) Do people sometimes whistle to keep up their spirits?

d) if you sit all day with a sad look, sighing and answering questions in a gloomy voice, will melancholy seize?

e) if you think and say that you will feel sick now, then this can happen?

f) K. S. Stanislavsky advised students to think about something sad and bad in dramatic scenes in order to cause very real tears?

Problem 19●. Explain the contradiction in the following examples.

1. When people meet loved one at the station after a long separation, they often cry instead of being happy.
2. At the wedding, the newlyweds, instead of rejoicing, often feel mutual irritation and experience a complex of negative emotions.
3. When things do not go well and a person encounters an obstacle in the implementation of his activities, instead of grief and sadness, he often demonstrates anger, rage, and aggression.
4. Athletes who break a world record, instead of feeling proud and happy, often cry and get annoyed.
5. When a person is provoked, offended, offended, he often laughs in the face of the offender.
6. In tense, extreme, risky situations, instead of fear, people joke and laugh.

Task 20●. Which of the above theses can (or cannot) be agreed with and why? What points need clarification?

1. Under the influence of emotions, the productivity of activity increases.
2. Under the influence of emotions, the tendency to fantasize increases.
3. Emotions reduce fear of the unknown.
4. Emotions reduce attention to activities.
5. The abundance of emotions destroys mental activity.
6. Fear is always a consequence of a lack of information.
7. In the moment of surprise, there are no thoughts.
8. Emotions are needed to adapt to the environment.
9. According to the Yorkes-Dodson law, an activity does not succeed when a person treats it negatively or when he treats it excessively positively.
10. According to the figurative expression of IP Pavlov, "passion can be driven into the muscles."

Problem 21●. Read the passages below. Which author do you want to agree with? Who after these lines would you like to have - a dog or a cat? Explain how animal emotions differ from human emotions.

1. M. Tsvetaeva, "Cats"

They come to us when
We don't see pain in our eyes.
But the pain came - they are no more:
There is no shame in a cat's heart!
It's funny, isn't it, poet,
to train them home role.
They run from the slave share:
There is no slavery in the cat's heart!
No matter how mani, no matter how you call,
No matter how you indulge in a cozy hall,
A single moment - they are free:
There is no love in a cat's heart!

2. J. West, "Dedication to the Dog": "The only completely unselfish friend of man in this selfish world, a friend who will never leave him, who will never be ungrateful and will not betray him, is a dog. The dog will remain next to man in rich and poor, in health and sickness, she will sleep on the cold earth where the winter winds blow and furiously sweeps the snow, just to be near her master, the dog will kiss his hand, even if this hand cannot give her food; she will lick wounds and scratches - the results of collisions with the cruelty of the world around. The dog guards the sleep of his impoverished master as jealously as if he were a prince. When all other friends are gone, this one will remain. When all riches disappear and everything falls to pieces, the dog as constant in her love as the sun moving across the sky."

Problem 22●. Explain how Vasilyuk defines: a) hedonistic experience, b) realistic experience, c) value experience, d) creative experience. What kind of individuals have these types of experiences? Analyze what type of experiences could be a prototype for the listed historical and literary characters.

Van Gogh, Rodion Raskolnikov, Martin Eden, Soames Forsythe, Dr. Schweitzer, Juliet, Scarlett O'Hara, Oblomov, Gleb Zheglov, Plushkin, Michelangelo, Hitler, Sharikov, Lolita, Pavel Korchagin, Bazarov, Katerina Izmailova, Peter I, Galileo Galilei , Ivan the Terrible, Ivan Susanin, Mussolini, Paganini, Carlson, Woland, Salieri, Alyosha Karamazov, Luka, Vassa Zheleznova, Columbus, Father Sergius.

Problem 23●. What individual features of feelings (strength, depth, ambivalence, stability) are shown in the given examples? What influence (regulating, stimulating, disorganizing) did feelings have here on behavior and lifestyle?

1. English lesson. The students brought a crow into the classroom. Young teacher N. climbed onto the windowsill to catch the bird and release it. At this time, her colleague and beloved person M. looks into the classroom. He sharply scolds N. Embarrassed, upset, she runs out into the corridor to explain to him the essence of what is happening. But he is cold and strict. N. returns to the classroom, grabs a crow that one of the students wrapped in a rag, throws the helpless bird out the window. Excited and indignant students are rude to the teacher. One by one she kicks them out the door

1. “I don’t know,” the young man writes to the girl, “I love you or hate you. It seems to me that these feelings are strangely mixed in me. I pose the question: why can I love you? I don’t find an answer. But there seems to be no reason for hatred Perhaps you can help me understand myself and what caused my such an absurd state in relation to you.
2. The 41-year-old steelworker is in a difficult state over the death of his only 18-year-old daughter. Previously, he was very fond of his profession, distinguished by a conscious and responsible attitude to work. During the war, he worked 2-3 shifts without leaving the shop. Now work is a burden to him, he complains of extreme fatigue and apathy.
3. Anna Karenina, on the eve of her death, reflects on her attitude towards Vronsky: “My love is becoming more passionate and selfish ... I have everything in him alone, and I demand that he give himself more and more to me ... If I could be something anything but a mistress who passionately loves only his caresses; but I cannot and do not want to be anything else. ( L. N. Tolstoy)

Problem 24●. Analyze from the point of view of the theory of emotions the statement of the expressive dancer Mary Wigman (1) and the dance psychotherapist Schilder (2). What are the psychological mechanisms of emotion modeling?

1. Dance is a living language that a person speaks, it is an artistic generalization hovering over a real basis in order to express itself at a higher level, in images and allegories of innermost human emotions. Dance primarily requires direct communication, because its bearer and mediator is the person himself, and the instrument of expression is the human body, the natural movements of which create the material for the dance, the only material that is his own and independently used by him.
2. There is such a close relationship between the muscular sequence of tension and relaxation (included in all expressive movements) and the mental set that not only the mental set is associated with the muscular state, but also each sequence of tension and relaxation evokes a physical set. A specific muscle sequence changes the internal state, attitudes, and even causes an imaginary situation that corresponds to the muscle sequence. (By K. Rudestamu)

Problem 25★. "Translate" into the scientific language of modern psychology of emotional states and give explanations to the following poetic lines.

1. O memory of the heart, you are stronger than the mind of sad memory! ( K. N. Batyushkov)

1. ... So, it means that indeed All life is removed, and does not last Love, surprise, an instant tribute? ( B. Pasternak)
2. The darkness of low truths is dearer to us than the uplifting deception. ( A. S. Pushkin)
3. The lure of affectionate speeches will not deprive me of my mind. ( E. A. Baratynsky)
4. How can the heart express itself? How can someone else understand you? Will he understand how you live? ( F. I. Tyutchev)
5. I want to live in order to think and suffer. ( A. S. Pushkin)
6. When you are angry or sick, We burn with longing or passion, Believe me: then you are still free To be proud of your happiness! ( A. Blok)
7. A tear always washes away something And brings consolation. ( V. Hugo)

Problem 26★. Try to feel into Japanese haiku. What range of experiences are they trying to convey?

End of autumn days.
Already open arms
Shell chestnut.
(Basho)

The autumn whirlwind is raging!
Barely born month
That's it He will sweep from heaven.
(kakei)

Over the stream all day
Catches, catches a dragonfly
Own shadow.
(Chiyo-ni)

On the sandy white shore
islet
In the Eastern Ocean
I, without wiping my wet eyes,
I play with a small crab.
(Basho)

Thunderstorm downpour!
Holding onto the grass a little
A flock of sparrows.
(buson)

So the pheasant screams
It's like he discovered it.
First star.
(Issa)

Oh with what sadness
The bird is watching
Butterflies flight.
(Issa)

Problem 27★. "Check the harmony with algebra", trying to explain how the emotional mood arises in the verses. Highlight the key words that create the mood - what?

I fed the pack with the hand
Under the flapping of wings, splashing and screaming.
I stretched out my arms, I stood on my toes,
The sleeve was wrapped up, the night was rubbing against the elbow.
And it was dark. And it was a pond
And waves. - And the birds of the breed love you,
It seemed that they would rather die than die
Noisy, black, strong beaks.
And it was a pond. And it was dark.
Pods with midnight tar were burning.
And the bottom was gnawed by a wave
At the boat. And the birds squabbled at the elbow.
And the night rinsed in the throats of dams.
It seemed that while the chick was not fed,
And the females would rather kill than die,
Roulades in a noisy, twisted throat.
(B. Pasternak)

I wrote on the slate board
And on the leaves of faded fans,
And on the river, and on the sea sand,
Skates on the ice and a ring on the windows, -
And on the trunks, which are hundreds of winters ...
And finally, for everyone to know! -
What do you love! love! love! love! -
Signed - a rainbow of heaven.
(M. Tsvetaeva)

And into the pit, into the warty darkness
slide to the icy water tower
and, stumbling, I eat dead air,
and the rooks fly away in a fever,
and I gasp after them, screaming,
in some frozen, wooden box...
(O. Mandelstam)

Today I feel in my heart
obscure trembling of the constellations,
but deaf in the soul of the fog
my path and song.
Light breaks my wings
and the pain of sadness and knowledge
in a pure source of thought
brings back memories...
(F. Garcia Lorca)

To imitate the Chinese with a transparent-clear soul,
Who in mute oblivion draws impartially
Death, furrowing porcelain, where the moon is between the snows
Admired by a bizarre flower in the heights,
And the fragrance of the flower filled the whole life of the moon ...
(Mallarme)

Goodbye my friend, goodbye.
My dear, you are in my chest.
Destined parting
Promises to meet in the future.
Goodbye, my friend, without a hand, without a word,
Do not be sad and do not sadness of the eyebrows, -
In this life, dying is not new,
But to live, of course, is not newer.
(S. Yesenin)

You don't know how nice it is to listen
Your sweet voice
When you read
Under a colorful lamp, for tea,
Japanese stories.
I gently stir the sugar
And I watch like tea leaves
Spinning and dancing
Gathering gradually
All in one hill...
And I don't understand a word
Only hear
your sweet voice
Under a colorful lamp
Somewhere far, far away...
And I smile.
(V. A. Junger)

Problem 28★. Imagine that you are an adherent of traditional psychoanalysis. What would a psychoanalyst say when observing the following emotional manifestations? Do external emotional manifestations always coincide with their psychological content?

1. Aunt Sonya is very fond of Indian films and is ready to watch them several times, while always crying in certain places, wiping her eyes with the tip of her apron and blowing her nose like a pipe.
2. Vika can't stand Innokenty: when they have to be around, she feels that her mood drops, she loses interest in what is happening, she is overwhelmed by unbearable irritation, and she begins to bully him, be rude and make fun of him.
3. Michael and Bobby love the Oasis band. Now they are in the stadium where the concert is taking place, and they are standing in a group of fans not far from the stage. Michael, red with emotion overflowing, yells at the top of his lungs, his movements awkward, he rips off his T-shirt and waves it around. Bobby, on the contrary, is pale, his tightly clenched fingers grow cold, goosebumps run through his body, from the outside it seems that he is in a semi-conscious or trance state.
4. Tofig Narimanov has been selling green tangerines at the Cheryomushkinsky market for the second week. Here comes the customer. Tofig slowly starts to clean the best copy of his product, inhaling the smell of tangerine with pleasure: "Come! Buy tangerine: honey, Turkish delight, you will lick your fingers! There is no such tangerine in the whole market! And the smell... You can die from one such smell!"

Problem 29★. Try to explain and illustrate with examples the following expressions.

"Educated heart", "sewerage of emotions", "animal satisfaction", "naked emotions", "screaming color", "passion-face", "deep feelings", "wild look", "glow (boiling) of passions", " paralysis of feelings", "weakness of emotional resonance", "crazy passion", "disheveled feelings", "not oneself", "losing one's head", "explosion of emotions", "anatomy of love", "destructive emotions", "mental confusion" , "affect past", "smart emotions", "emotionally rich thought", "emotional knowledge", "let your mind be kind, and your heart be smart", "emotions are the gypsies of our psyche".

Problem 30★. Read excerpts from C. Jung's "Psychological Types". What new did he bring to the doctrine of emotions? What ideas of traditional psychology were revised by him? Determine where descriptions of emotions are given in an extraverted setting, and where in an introverted one. Are situations of "intersection" of unconscious attitudes possible?

1. I may feel that I am attracted to the predicate "beautiful" or "good" not because I find the object "beautiful" or "good" from subjective emotional experience, but because fits call it that. For example, a painting can be called beautiful, because it is generally assumed that, hanging in a salon, signed by a famous artist, the painting is beautiful. Or because, for example, the predicate "ugly" may upset the family of the happy owner of the picture, or because among the guests of the salon there is an intention to create a pleasant emotional atmosphere, for which it is necessary that everything seems pleasant.
2. The relation to the object is preserved as far as possible in a calm and safe middle state of emotions, between the stubborn restraint of passion and its boundlessness. Emotional expression therefore remains moderate, and the subject always feels undervalued if he is aware of it.

Since this type is for the most part cold and reserved, superficial judgment easily denies him any emotion. But this is not true, emotions develop in depth - intense compassion closes up before any expression and reaches a painful depth that embraces the calamity of the world and therefore becomes numb. Suddenly it suddenly manifests itself in excess and leads to an amazing act, so to speak, of a heroic nature, to which neither those around nor the person himself can find an interpretation.

Before himself, he expresses his goal and his content, perhaps in a religiosity hidden and timidly kept from the eyes of the profane, or in the same poetic form that does not cause amazement, not without a secret ambitious desire to achieve superiority over the object.

1. The emotions of such a person correspond to objective provisions and generally accepted values. This is especially clear in the choice of the object of love: they love the "suitable" person, and not someone else, he is suitable not because he fully corresponds to the subjective hidden essence of a woman - in most cases she knows nothing about this - but because that he, in his knowledge, age, condition, size, and respectability of his family, meets all reasonable requirements. Such reasonable marriages exist without number. Such wives are good friends to their husbands and good mothers, because they can feel “right” only when nothing else interferes with emotions. Nothing, however, can interfere with feeling so much as thinking. Such a woman can think very well, as far as emotions allow, but every logical conclusion that could interfere with feeling is simply rejected. They don't usually think about it. And, thus, they value and love everything that is considered good according to an objective assessment.
2. K. Jung found the predominance of this kind of feeling mainly among women. The proverb "Still water is deep" applies precisely to such women. They are for the most part silent, hard to reach, incomprehensible, often hidden behind a childish or banal mask, and sometimes have a melancholic temperament. They do not shine and do not move forward. Since in relationships they are guided primarily by their subjectively oriented emotions, their true motives remain largely hidden. Outwardly, they show a pleasant calm, do not seek to force the other, influence him, or even educate and change him. If the outer side is more pronounced, then a shade of indifference and coldness appears, which can intensify to indifference to the well-being and misfortune of another. Then it is clearly felt how the emotions "turn away" from the object.
3. Problem 31★. Analyze the "faces of love." Isolate from the above passages the essential characteristics of love as the highest human feeling. Do you think there is a "male" and "female" love?

1. What is love? Is it a breeze rustling in the rosehip bushes, or a whirlwind that breaks the masts of ships?.. This is the golden glow of blood... ( K. Hamsun)

2. In lingonberries, in burdocks,
in nettle fragrance,
in agaves and thorns
rose hips and roses,
in tulips, in tobacco,
in mother's milkweed,
in a blizzard mattiol,
like a poet,
as once in lilac,
and in yellow violet
l yellow-violet smashed,
like once a child
the old man cried
tight as horse sorrel,
Kohana, witer, dream
Either their or dih ...
(V. Aksenov)

3. ... I will decorate the temple and leave it to you
All joys are the keys
So that you don't look gloomy...
(D. Keats)

4. Only once, like a fern, I
bloom with fire in the spring, drunken night ...
Follow me to the center of the forest,
in a cursed circle, come, rip me off.
Love me. I am close to all of you.
Oh give in to my love corruption!
I'm like an almond, deadly and bitter
more tender than death, more deceitful and bitter.
(Ch. de Gabriak)

5. ... You were afraid of my love in vain:
Not so I love terribly:
It was enough for me to see you
Meet your smile!
And in the warm wind to catch again
That violin is crying
That timpani is copper ...
And what will I get from this?
That you don't understand...
(N. Matveeva)

6. It was stuffy from the burning light,
And his eyes are like rays.
I just shuddered: this
Can tame me.
Bent over - he will say something ...
Blood drained from his face.
Let it lie like a tombstone
For my life love.
Don't like, don't want to watch?
Oh, how beautiful you are, damned!
And I can't fly
And from childhood she was winged.
Fog obscures my eyes,
Things and faces merge
And only a red tulip
Tulip in your buttonhole.
As simple courtesy dictates,
Came up to me, smiled
Half kind, half lazy
Touched the hand with a kiss -
And mysterious, ancient faces
Eyes looked at me...
Ten years of fading and screaming
All my sleepless nights
I put in a quiet word
And she said it - in vain.
You left, and it became again
My heart is empty and clear.
(A. Akhmatova)

7. The most vile deception is to deprive someone of love by cunning; it is a fatal loss, irreplaceable neither in time nor in space. ( S. Kierkegaard)

8. ... Don't sing me songs about sunshine:
The sun is the enemy of lovers.
Sing to me of dusk and shadows
And midnight memories.
(Sappho)

Problem 32★. Try to guess what emotions and feelings are meant in the following metaphors and definitions.

1. The rudimentary, not sharply expressed anger of a person at himself ( Hegel)
2. Bad regulator, but powerful spring ( emerson)
3. An inner voice warning that someone is following us ( Mencken)
4. Love for what you order yourself ( Goethe)
5. Diamond on the hand of virtue ( Voltaire)
6. Pride logarithm ( Tungsten)
7. The most subtle form of revenge Gracian)
8. Love that is tormented by the pain of loved ones ( Fenelon)
9. Child of kindness Richardson)
10. Root of all evil Chaucer)
11. Momentary Madness ( Horace)
12. Mind intoxication ( Southey)

Problem 33★. Try to continue the following sayings.

Emotions are subjective experiences of a person that express his attitude to the surrounding reality and color all human behavior.

1. Signal - they signal what is happening around us in the surrounding reality. 2. Regulatory - emotions can act as a motive for behavior (regulate our activities).

Affect is a violent short-term flash. It is rage, horror, anger, despair, euphoria. It arises in response to a situation that has already actually occurred and is, as it were, an event shifted to the end.

“Cold” emotion Contempt is a negative emotional state that occurs when communicating with people when there is a disagreement in life views. Poor expression. "Hot" emotion Anger is a negative emotional state that proceeds in the form of affect and is caused by the sudden appearance of a serious obstacle to the satisfaction of a very important need.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. The hypothalamus is responsible for strong emotions The amygdala is responsible for aggressive behavior and fear The hippocampus is responsible for aggression and fear The reticular formation acts as a filter (filters emotions) Blue spot - the production of norepinephrine, which triggers depression if it is not enough, but eaten in excess - stress) Substance black - produces dopamine - the hormone of joy The cerebral cortex is responsible for higher emotions, restraining emotions.

Explain the connection between the right and left hemispheres with emotions. What happens if the right hemisphere is affected and what happens if the left hemisphere is damaged?

When the right hemisphere is affected, mild excitability is observed with euphoria and playfulness of the left hemisphere, depressive reactions are observed

Currently, a large amount of experimental and clinical data has been accumulated on the role of the cerebral hemispheres in the regulation of emotions. The study of the functions of the left and right hemispheres revealed the existence of emotional asymmetry of the brain. According to V. L. Deglin, a temporary shutdown of the left hemisphere by an electroconvulsive electric shock causes a shift in the emotional sphere of the “right hemisphere person” towards negative emotions. His mood worsens, he pessimistically assesses his position, complains of feeling unwell. Turning off the right hemisphere causes the opposite effect - an improvement in the emotional state. T. A. Dobrokhotova and N. N. Bragina found that patients with lesions in the left hemisphere are anxious and preoccupied. Right-sided defeat is combined with frivolity, carelessness. The emotional state of complacency, irresponsibility, carelessness that occurs under the influence of alcohol is associated with its predominant effect on the right hemisphere of the brain. Demonstration of films of different content with the help of contact lenses in the right or left field of vision showed that the right hemisphere reacts faster to slides with an expression of sadness, and the left - to slides of joyful content. According to other data, the right hemisphere recognizes emotionally expressive faces faster, regardless of the quality of the emotion. Recognition of facial expressions is more associated with the function of the right hemisphere. It worsens with damage to the right hemisphere. Damage to the temporal lobe, especially on the right, disrupts the recognition of the emotional intonation of speech. When the left hemisphere is turned off, regardless of the nature of the emotion, the recognition of the emotional coloring of the voice improves. Turning off the left hemisphere makes the situation incomprehensible, non-verbalizable and, therefore, emotionally negative. Turning off the right hemisphere makes the situation simple, clear, understandable, which causes the predominance of positive emotions. Emotional asymmetry of the brain is also characteristic of normal healthy people. Individuals with a dominant right hemisphere are characterized by increased anxiety and neuroticism. The predominance of the functions of the left hemisphere, determined by the group of motor, visual and auditory methods, is combined with low levels of anxiety.

Changes in skin resistance, heart rate, blood pressure, vasodilation and constriction, skin temperature, hormonal and chemical composition blood, etc.

The factor that triggers emotions is a conditioned and unconditioned stimulus. Such stimuli excite impulses, activate the brainstem and further the hypothalamus and cortex, forming behavior accompanied by emotional arousal. Each emotion has its own central control structures. By irritating the nervous structures located at different levels of the brain, it is possible to reproduce certain emotional reactions by activating individual links in the regulation of emotional behavior.

The genesis of the emergence of emotions is connected with the mismatch of the acceptor of the action with the result of the action or the course of its implementation at the stages of the action. Emotion is a mechanism for punishing strategically harmful ( negative emotion) or reward strategically useful (positive emotion) behaviors.

Need-information theory of emotions Simonova (1970) Emotions are a reflection by the human brain and higher animals of the quality and magnitude of the actual need and the probability of its satisfaction, which the subject involuntarily evaluates on the basis of innate or previously acquired individual experience.

The algorithm for the emergence of emotions according to Simonov E \u003d -P (N-S), where E is emotions, P is a need, N is the information necessary to organize an action to satisfy a given need, C is information that exists (really exists) and can be used to organize goal-directed behavior.

Social negative emotions

Shame

When a person feels shame, he, as a rule, tries to shrink in size, looks away, blushes, lowers or even closes his eyes. Wide-open eyes and shame are incompatible phenomena. "Your shameless eyes! Turn away! - so often they say to a child and bring up modesty in him. Psychological research shows that almost everyone experiences shame. At the same time, the consciousness of a person is filled with himself, but he realizes in himself only what seems indecent to him. At the same time, he feels insolvent, incompetent.

Here is how Tomkins writes about shame: “Although horror turns to life, and death and suffering envelop the world with a veil of tears, shame hurts the deepest heart. Although fear and suffering hurt, they deal blows that are mitigated by introspection and self-justification; but shame is experienced as an inner torment, a disease of the soul. It doesn't matter whether the cause of humiliation and shame was someone's insulting ridicule or the person ridiculed himself. In both cases, he feels naked, defeated, rejected, devoid of dignity. Ashamed, a person sees himself as an object of contempt and ridicule, a child whose weakness is put on public display, believes that others will laugh at him.

Immediately practical solution: you should never shame your partner. If he has no conscience, your arrows will miss. If you hit the target, you will make an enemy. But how often do we shame a partner who depends on us instead of demanding a direct task. "Aren `t you ashamed! Didn't wash my shoes again! - instead of: "Wash your shoes." “Shame on you! They left the workplace in a mess again!” - instead of: "Please put your workplace in order." It is even better in such cases to start right away like this: “I am sure that from today ...” But the most important thing is that a person loses self-respect. A shy person is overly concerned with how he looks in the eyes of others.

Shame arises in a person only in the process of education. Animals have no shame. Some scientists believe that shame still brings some benefit. So, a person, as a rule, tries to avoid situations that cause shame, study and work better, behave more decently. It is said that shame contributes to the mental reproduction of difficult situations, which leads to an increase in the Self and self-criticism, and facilitates the development of independence.

Lee." l, 1h * c. irnk.gshk.shy doctor, see more harm from shame I agree with those who argue that shame contains a hostile impulse towards thinking. Gynecologists, sexologists, urologists and surgeons know how often shame and shyness lead to the fact that many people come to the clinic for treatment already with advanced forms of serious diseases, such as rectal and breast cancer, uterine fibromyoma, prostatitis, hemorrhoids, etc. n. And how many misfortunes are due to the fact that a man is ashamed to seek help from a doctor about impotence, and a woman because of sexual coldness.

Let me give you one example in this regard.

My client was 57 years old and was dating a woman 21 years younger than him. Both of them were divorced. She reached out to him, but he was afraid to deepen the relationship, since all his life he considered himself a sexually weak man.

Here is a summary of his story.

He married for love at the age of 23. The wife was three years younger. Both had no experience of sexual life. Initially, sexual relations seemed to be normal. But then I realized that his wife belongs to the category of so-called Cold Women. She did not feel satisfaction from intimate relationships and tried to avoid them. On this basis, conflicts began to arise. Once, when her husband, insisting on intimacy, told her that the wife must fulfill her marital duties, she lay on her back, spread her legs and told him to do his job. Naturally, he didn't succeed. She ridiculed him. Since then, my client's insecurities in intimate relationships have not left. Family life was full of conflicts. The children did not bring them together. He did not dare to divorce his wife with such potency. So at least sometimes, albeit defectively, he lived a sexual life. There were women whom he liked, but he could not tell them about his "defect", and he was embarrassed to go to the doctor. At 54, I felt like a complete impotent. The children were already adults, and he separated from his wife. Freed up time, and he began to visit the art studio, remembering his childhood hobby. There he met the woman mentioned above.

I advised my client to tell this friend of mine everything and explained that the disturbances that were bothering him were of a juvenile nature and, of course, reversible. For the past three years I have been meeting this happy couple with pleasure. Once he told me that he never suspected that he had such a high potency. He even looked younger, and when I met him, he looked like an old man.

But the case does not have such a happy ending.

There is such a category of people who, even with good friends, are embarrassed to go to the toilet. So, our hero belonged to such people. He fell in love when he was young. They were classmates. It was going to be a wedding. Once, during a date, he had an upset stomach. He should have told his beloved that he urgently needed to find a toilet, but he was shy. The mood immediately dropped. To quickly part with the girl, he found fault with some trifle. They quarreled and eventually broke up. Everything turned out like a comedy. Only in comedy do characters eventually converge. Here the gap was final. Everyone then had their own failed life. Fate brought them together 20 years later at the traditional meeting of graduates, and only then that old misunderstanding was revealed.

I could cite many more such cases. They are funny, comical and even tragic. That is why I think that a person should not have a sense of shame or shyness. Such stimulants and limiters are not needed for the development of personality. What then is needed? You already guessed. Develop thinking! It should become both our stimulant and our limiter. It will tell you when you should not strip naked, but it will force you to go to the doctor for diseases of the genital organs and will remain neutral in matters of love.

Guilt

One of the main tasks of modern psychotherapy is the removal of feelings of guilt. It is not an innate, but an educated state of mind, like the morality associated with it. A sense of guilt is hung on a child in the first years of his life, when his thinking is not developed and the proposed norms of morality (“what is good and what is bad”) are accepted without criticism. When the norms of morality are violated, a person begins to feel guilty. Anyone who has read The Psychology of Aikido already knows that moral standards are the content of the Parent. It contains our conscience. But morality is changing. What is moral now was immoral in the past and may be immoral in the future. Life changes its shape and essence. But the requirements of outdated morality severely impose a sense of guilt on a person, and he ceases to be himself.

Moral behavior is essential. There is no doubt about this. Otherwise humanity would cease to exist. In addition, the rules of morality make life easier: many actions become automatic, no need to think - follow the rules of morality!

But does our soul need morality? Let us recall the commandments of Moses: “Thou shalt not kill,” “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” etc. But it is prohibitions that make what is forbidden desirable for a person. Remember, we've already discussed this. Make a vow to yourself while reading not to look at the top right corner of the page, refrain from looking at the top right corner of the page, remember all the time that you should not look at the top right corner of the page, shame yourself for always wanting to look at upper right corner of the page (there is something that you can’t look at). And now you are irresistibly drawn to look there. And if you hold on, it will still pull. So, unconsciously negation is not perceived.

“Our regiment was forbidden to read,” Schweik said, “and in two weeks the regiment became the most reading.” Moreover, the soldiers read everything, including scraps of newspapers in which the merchants wrapped their purchases. "Don't look at the carafe of water," I once said in a lecture. One listener immediately looked at him. I reproached her. She replied: “But I must look at what I should not look at!” By forbidding, we create an image of what is forbidden, and after a while a person has a desire to do what is forbidden. And the desire must be satisfied, and he does what is forbidden. And if he does not, then he is torn apart by the contradiction between desire and prohibition, between feeling and duty. So close to sickness.

Prohibition increases alcohol consumption, sexual prohibitions increase depravity, and strict laws increase the severity of crimes. Everything goes according to the Law - the Law of nature. Let us remember that the written laws, if they do not comply with it, the web is only for the weak, the strong her break through.

When Jesus Christ was reproached for destroying the commandments, he replied that he did not come to destroy the law, but to strengthen it. Thus, Jesus Christ also calls adultery in “his heart” a sin.

During a family quarrel, the wife of one of my patients told him: “I could cheat on you a thousand times, but only my decency kept me!” So how many times did she cheat on him "in her heart"? And after this episode, they parted, although they lived together for 23 years. It is clear that their bodies were together, and the soul of the wife was in another place. But love is a function of the soul. It is she who makes us human.

At happy person the soul does not leave the body. When same we are seized with fear, the soul rushes into the future, when we are depressed - into the past. In personal contacts, we should worry that, first of all, the soul of a partner is with us. I always tell my students not to come to my classes if they have a struggle of motives. Let them go there, not to me. If a there it will be more interesting, I will rejoice for them, and if not, their soul will remain with me, and then she will bring the body. When the number of my students noticeably decreases, this will be a signal that I have become an uninteresting person. I will start working harder on myself. I may not return the departed, but I can keep the new arrivals. I will try to conduct classes better, and I will not have to appeal to morality and repeat that you need to study regularly, that without studying you cannot become a good specialist. They will be interested and they will good specialists. They will act morally and will not even suspect that they are acting morally. This is, from my point of view, true freedom: I do what I want, but everyone needs it. It is she who needs the soul, not morality.

And now I want to turn to you, dear reader! If I bore you, stop reading, go where your soul leads you. Your departure will benefit me: I will try to write better.

Thank you for staying with me! Thanks a lot!

So, behavior must be moral, and the soul does not need morality. Is there a contradiction here? And if there is no morality, then what same provides moral behavior? What qualities should be developed so that getting rid of moral dogmas does not disorganize behavior?

"Don't kill!" I want to kill my neighbor, but morality won't let me. I do not kill, I restrain myself, but then I kill myself, and this is also immoral. And you can't kill yourself. So let's think! Okay, I didn't like you, and I killed you. I feel better. But what's next? Of course, you have friends, relatives, they will begin to clarify the circumstances. Eventually they will find me and kill me. Suppose I managed to avoid exposure. But I live in fear, breaking the emotional diet and thereby killing myself. Somehow I was able to overcome the fear of exposure. Now I'll start killing more and more. In the end, people will unite and kill me. So, if my thinking is well developed, I will not kill you. If I don't like you, I can try not to communicate with you. But this is not an option either. For people with similar qualities may meet in the future. Therefore, it is best to learn how to communicate with you and not step on your sore spot. And since you have advantages, I will try to identify them and use them. No, I won't kill you, not because I'm good, but because it's stupid. I will try to do you well, not because I am good, but because it is beneficial to me.

A child is taught the commandments from an early age "Don't steal" often at the same time crippling his psyche. This is exactly what happened in childhood with one of my patients, an intelligent woman of 45 years old.

Once, when she was five or six years old, she wanted ice cream. The parents were not at home. She took money from her mother's purse and I bought ice cream. From her point of view, she did not steal, but satisfied her needs. But such a grandiose scandal arose in the house on the topic “Do not steal”, that this incident sunk into her soul and then she was afraid all her life of being convicted of theft. I never stayed alone in the classroom when I was a student, and then in the teacher's room when I became a teacher. I always made sure that colleagues did not leave money and neck things in sight. All this was known to the staff, and when the money disappeared in the teacher's room, then, of course, everyone first of all thought of her. My patient began to make excuses, which only aggravated the matter. She was afraid to quit, because she believed that by doing so she would prove her guilt, and continued to work for many years with a reputation as a thief.

What can replace the commandment "Thou shalt not steal"? Of course, the ability to earn. After all, most often they steal when there is no money, but they want to satisfy some need. When a person knows how to earn money, and besides, his work is creative, interesting, the thought of stealing will not even occur to him, and his needs will not be too high. In childhood - entertaining games, in school years- interesting study, for adults - creative work will make the commandment "Do not steal" superfluous.

The case when a person steals out of envy is much more complicated. He can be rich and still steal. But then he must be rid of envy. Envy makes a person unhappy, and help get rid of it

One from tasks of psychotherapy.

Who needs a command "Do not commit adultery"? Of course, a person who has sexual problems. If they are resolved, there is no need to keep this commandment in the soul. If not resolved, then in order for me not to take care of your wife, you will definitely urge me to keep this commandment. So, again, the solution is not in simple following the commandment, but in love. For, as Frankl said, only a relationship of love excludes betrayal. With this, I stop discussing this important topic, since the next book in this series is devoted to it. It has already been written and will be published soon.

“Morality masks our meanness and malice, like clothing masks physical defects. Morality makes us tame beasts, dresses us up in something noble,” wrote Nietzsche. He called morality the great dragon. "You must" is called a dragon... The scaly beast "you must", sparkling with golden sparks, lies... on the road, and "you must" shines like gold on each scale. And "I want" should not exist.

It is very difficult to object to a moralizing person, because he is right, but something needs to be done. In fact, he is wrong. Of course, we must exercise, go to work, wash our hands, brush our teeth, pay for services, be grateful, honor our parents, etc. But swallowed in childhood without any appreciation and undigested, these rules require one hundred percent compliance, which makes it very difficult a life. So, you put on a raincoat instead of a jacket, got on a tram and went to work. After two or three stops you find that you don't have a ruble. All the money was in the jacket! You can’t ride for free, you can’t ask for money or a coupon from strangers! Return home or get up and walk? But you can't be late for work! No matter what you do, the rules are still broken, and you begin to feel guilty. So, my observations show that the latter occurs when a person violates the rules instilled in him by his parents and society, and not developed on the basis of his own experience. I advise you to review your rules. Those of them that arise from experience should be left, the rest should be regurgitated or digested. Otherwise, you run the risk of getting sick, as well as ruining the life of not only yourself, but also those around you.

Let me cite one typical case in this connection.

My 45-year-old client, a school principal and mother of three, had a chronically mentally ill mother. Caring for her, she was completely exhausted. But the patient's condition worsened, and more and more care was required. The client became irritable at work and unbearable at home. In addition, sleep was disturbed, my heart ached, it was difficult to cope with duties at work. When I suggested resolving the issue in principle, that is, placing the mother in a hospital for psychochronics, she categorically refused: “I never ask myself this!” She didn’t want to break some of her commandments, but the fact that about a thousand people indirectly suffer because of this was not taken into account!

So, it is necessary with the help of the mind to get rid of moral dogmas and thus from feelings of guilt. And my God! What a relief it is when this happens! All my life I have been guided by the idea that lies in the proverb: the soldier who does not dream of becoming a general is bad. I understood it as the need to advance in the service. But how easy it became for me when I realized that I had to dream of becoming a general just to be a good soldier, that success is a by-product of a properly organized activity, that you need to think only about your personal growth. How easy it became for me when I realized that you just need to do your favorite thing and that an eccentric from a person who has achieved success is distinguished only by the fact that the second one has achieved success. But the most interesting thing is that after that I began to move up the ladder of success, although I still have a reputation for being an eccentric. I really want this book and, of course, introspection to help you digest at least some of your dogmas.

Suffering

Suffering is the most common negative emotion, just as interest is a positive one. This is a deep effect that can be caused by hunger, cold, pain, noise, heat, bright light, disappointment, failure, loss, etc. Man begins his life with suffering. At the act of birth, the child is deprived of the paradise of intrauterine existence and expresses his indignation with a loud cry. And in the future, as Izard points out, suffering becomes an integral part of life.

Suffering depends on personal attitudes. That is why for some, dismissal from work, conflict at work, deprivation of virginity outside of legal marriage, failure in love are a deep drama, others endure it calmly. But there are many causes for suffering that are completely independent of the individual. These are economic crises, war, serious illness, catastrophe, sudden death of a loved one. Often we become aware that we were happy when suffering sets in.

The sad expression on his face is familiar to everyone. With obvious suffering, the eyebrows rise up and move. If a person is often in a state of sad reflection, then vertical wrinkles are laid between the eyebrows. In the most pronounced moments of suffering, a person cries. Tears relieve suffering, finding no way out, they choke. As soon as a person cries, the severity of suffering becomes less. However, since childhood, the child is taught to hold back tears. So one of the tasks of psychological training is to return to a person the ability to cry when suffering.

A suffering person feels abandoned, lonely, useless, powerless, stupid, etc., in general, he feels unhappy. But suffering also has a useful function. It lets a person know that he is ill, makes him act, solve problems, and thereby saves a person from destruction. In addition, suffering brings people together.

One should not, without understanding the causes of suffering, try to alleviate it. When suffering arises from the loss of a loved one, it takes time to get used to the absence of the one with whom you spent many years. Quite often, a person in grief is offered to pull himself together. But a person who keeps himself in control all the time develops a kind of disease. As Nietzsche writes, “... he is constantly in a defensive posture, armed against himself, the eternal watchman of his fortress, to which he has doomed himself. Yes, he can achieve greatness in this! But how hateful he is now to others, how burdensome to himself, how exhausted and cut off from the most beautiful accidents of the soul! And how often do we hear such “support”: “You should have my troubles!”

How to support a person who is in grief? I offer this option: “I admire your courage, the way you endure your grief! I could not stand it for a long time and burst into tears! This, in my opinion, is real support, while “Pull yourself together” is actually a praising of oneself: “I have more difficult circumstances, but I hold on.”

A person should not be shamed, but taught to endure suffering. As Izard pointed out, if a parent shows contempt for a child when it cries, the child may become accustomed to being ashamed whenever he wants to cry. All this can make the child fearful, painfully shy. According to Tomkins, the attitude towards suffering is brought up through punishment, encouragement, incomplete encouragement and a mixed way.
If parents punish a child without paying attention to the cause of his suffering, and he does not have the opportunity to explain himself, this can lead to pretense, weak expression of personality, excessive avoidance of suffering, apathy and fatigue. If, at the same time, the child is beaten, he begins to bear the pain badly. This is why men tolerate pain worse than women (boys are more often punished with a strap than girls).

If parents encourage the child to show their suffering, try to calm him down and reduce the effect of the factor that causes suffering, eliminate it, then the child will be able to express suffering, fight it and overcome it. He will trust people more, he will safely experience the suffering that usually accompanies joy and love, he will form a more optimistic attitude towards life.

With incomplete encouragement, parents kiss, hug and stroke a crying child, instead of making the cause of suffering understandable to him. Such a child will not overcome suffering, look for its cause, but seek solace. These children can grow into alcoholics and drug addicts.

With the mixed method, a small child is encouraged to cry, a little grown up - they begin to punish. The mother demands one thing, the father another. As a result, personality development slows down, there is dissatisfaction with contacts with other people, dependence in interpersonal relationships and fear of conflicts.

Suffering is hardest to endure when it seems pointless. Therefore, you need to find meaning in it. “Be patient a little,” the doctor says to the patient, feeling his stomach. “I want to determine if you have appendicitis or just colitis.” Suffering made sense. After all, it is necessary to decide whether to do the operation or not, and the patient suffers! As Franchi argues, if you find something positive in the loss, the suffering becomes easier. “No money can be placed more profitable than that which you have allowed to be taken away from you in a fraudulent way: for on them we directly acquire prudence,” wrote A. Schopenhauer.

Anger

Long-existing depression (longing), giving a certain rest to the body, is an innate causative agent of anger. Most people are familiar with the feeling of anger that comes after suffering. At work, he was scolded, which caused suffering. He came home and attacked the child with anger. He is angry not so much with the child as with the source of suffering, but, unfortunately, he often does not realize this. As a result, this situation is repeated quite often.

Anger usually arises when there are obstacles to the satisfaction of needs. It can be physical obstacles, rules, laws, and, finally, one's own inability. If the obstacles are small and easily overcome, anger may not arise. Another thing is when the obstacle cannot be overcome, but the desire persists. Often low levels of anger are suppressed for a long time, which is detrimental to health. I am angry with my partner. But in society I have to hide it. I tense up, clench my fists in fury, and instead of destroying the source of anger, I destroy myself.

When an animal becomes enraged, it bares its teeth and opens its eyes wide. The whole posture expresses readiness to attack. Such a manifestation of anger can only be seen in a child. In an adult, it is observed only in extreme situations. More often than not, we have to quench our anger. Then the teeth are clenched, the lips are compressed, the eyebrows are reduced, the nostrils are dilated and the wings of the nose are raised. When angry, the blood boils, the face burns. There is a mobilization of the nervous system and the whole organism. The person feels strong and needs immediate action, which may be irrational unless the person does something to control the anger. Anger suppresses fear and suffering.

A bunch of " fear - suffering - anger” can be seen in the following example, which Izard gives.
The mother went shopping and left her little son at home. At first he felt good. But the mother was delayed. It became dark. The child was frightened and began to cry. The fear created a feeling of abandonment and suffering, which increased the fear. But if the boy becomes angry with his mother, his fear and suffering will decrease.
In human evolution, anger was essential to survival. Now anger often performs a negative function. When it arises, it is accompanied by a feeling of injustice, a feeling that you have been deceived, betrayed, humiliated, and sometimes the thought of general injustice appears. If anger is held back for a long time, disgust often arises for the object that provokes it.

Parents, teachers, bosses, often in conflict with their children, students, subordinates! Remember this position well. If your dependent partner yells back at you, he treats you even more or less tolerably. But those who remain silent and hold back their anger are disgusted with you. That's it!

If a dangerous opponent is overcome, joy is mixed with anger, resulting in a feeling of contempt for the opponent (this complex emotion is a mixture of anger and joy). Contempt is the coldest and most destructive emotion. If the proportion of anger in contempt begins to fall and such a state becomes chronic, a person can turn into a sadist.