How to learn to control emotions in a relationship. Negative emotions. How to learn to control yourself? How to learn to control your emotions and feelings

Hello dear readers. In this article, you will learn how to learn to control your emotions. You will become aware of what you need to do in order to be less nervous, how to behave in stressful situations. Learn how not to act, how to learn to restrain yourself.

Emotions

This concept has several meanings. Someone defines emotions as the expression of feelings with the help of voice or facial movements. Others see the concept as situation-based displays of feeling that are quick and short. Someone is convinced that emotions are feelings expressed specifically for the audience, for the people who are nearby. In a general sense, emotions are expressive movements that carry certain information about a person, about his state, which convey the attitude of a given individual to a particular event or action. There are three types of emotions:

• positive, in particular, joy, a sense of admiration, a feeling of happiness, pleasure;
• negative - hatred, anger, irritability, envy, anger;
• neutral, in particular surprise.

Why control is needed

1. It must be understood that from an overabundance of emotions to a state of affect is a short way. A person can do a lot of stupid things if he is not able to control himself.
2. The inability to control oneself can lead to serious conflicts with loved ones, negatively affect relationships with friends and relatives.
3. When an individual tries to keep his negativity inside himself, it accumulates over time and comes out with greater force.
4. People who are unable to control themselves will not be kept at work for long. No boss will like it if his subordinate is not able to restrain himself.
5. It is important to consider that the inability to control one's feelings may indicate the presence of a mental disorder. Therefore, sometimes it is worth seeking help from a specialist.

Ways

1. Before you do or say anything, you need to take a deep breath, followed by a slow exhalation. Now try to count to ten. At first glance, this method may seem very banal, however, it is very effective and has been tested more than once. It must be understood that such exercises allow you to protect yourself from unnecessary statements that could destroy a marriage or business relationship. When a person begins to calm himself with breathing, after which he counts to ten, his psychological state returns to normal. You need to realize that it is better to make serious decisions in a calm state.
2. Try at the moment when emotions overwhelm you, focus on pleasant things, for example, you can think about your son or daughter, about someone you love. It is important that the thoughts that arise in your head allow you to feel warmth and a positive mood. You can also think of a pleasant smell or your favorite song.
3. If at the moment when there is a desire to throw out your emotions, there is no one around, you can say your thoughts out loud. This method will help get rid of the growing anger and. If you are not alone in the room, you can still say out loud something like the phrase “this is too much for my peace of mind!”. With a statement like this, you can defuse the current situation.
4. If you feel the strongest excitement, for example, you have a performance in front of a large audience, you need to pick up a ballpoint pen. This method allows you to control the emotions of speakers, public figures. When a person holds a pen in his hand, he supposedly feels secure. This allows you to calm down, become more collected.
5. Watch your facial expression. When you feel that some emotion is trying to absorb you, make a facial expression that will be completely different from the feeling that is arising in you.

In a moment of excitement, I resort to a method that helps me calm down and pull myself together. I put my hand on my chest in the region of the heart, I feel my heartbeat, I focus on it. Then I take a deep breath and exhale. After a short period of time I begin to calm down, the pulse slows down.

Wrong actions

A person must know, be able to control emotions - this is a lot of work. Not everyone will be able to easily remake themselves. Some people make mistakes in their efforts to keep their feelings under control. Therefore, it is important to know what actions are wrong in a situation where you don’t want to be nervous, you don’t want to worry about every trifle anymore, don’t take everything too close to your heart, and react emotionally to everything.

1. No need to throw out your irritation and anger on people who are close to you. If you come home in a bad mood, in no case project it onto your loved ones. In such a situation, the conflict will also arise at home, which will increase your level of nervousness. Therefore, it is so important to learn how to leave bad emotions outside the home, not to carry all the problems that you have encountered outside of it into the family.
2. You should not take antidepressants. You need to understand that this is a medical drug that should be prescribed only by a doctor, taking into account certain indications, the dosage should also be selected by a specialist. In addition, you need to know that antidepressants are prescribed in fairly severe cases. It is also worth considering that such drugs can be addictive.
3. The worst option is to try to drown your feelings in alcohol. You must understand that alcohol is unable to solve your problems. And its abuse will lead to health problems, both physical and mental.
4. You should not talk about your emotions to unfamiliar people, as well as share them on social networks. It is necessary to understand that after reading your sad thoughts, strangers will not be able to support, help in the way that your friends or relatives will do.

How to deal with stubborn emotions

A person can get rid of an overabundance of violent emotions with the help of the following actions.

1. Someone helps beating dishes. To do this, you need to buy cheap plates or cans and beat them, for example, on the street. Well, if you have a private house. But don't forget to clean up after yourself.
2. Perfectly cope with emotions allows you to play darts and bowling.
3. Dancing will add positive emotions to you, allow you to throw out the accumulated negativity.
4. Scream. Sometimes a person needs to shout to get rid of an overabundance of emotions.
5. Sport. Allows you to strengthen your health, psychological state, during physical exertion, endorphins are released, which are hormones of happiness.
6. Long walks down the street. It will be nice to watch the autumn foliage falling from the trees, and green crowns, and snow-covered branches.
7. A change of scenery. Sometimes only avoidance of habitual events helps.

1. Learn not to take personally the problems that other people have. You can show your sympathy, provide support, but you should not sit together and cry. Such actions will not benefit him or you.
2. Try to get to know yourself better. Decide what irritates you, unbalances you. Identify the reasons, try to avoid them in order not to provoke your emotional instability.
3. Much attention should be paid to healthy sleep and proper nutrition. Lack of sleep, as well as diets, affect the occurrence of irritability, increased fatigue.
4. Find suitable rituals for yourself that will allow you to relax. These should be consistent activities that you can do daily at the same time. For example, you can take a relaxing bath before bed or a favorite book.
5. Take up meditation or yoga. Oriental techniques allow you to relax, improve your psychological state, teach you how to control emotions and feelings.
6. Work on your mood. It is necessary to understand that it depends on what emotions will be. It is desirable that you have something that would improve your mood, for example, a walk in the park.
7. Watch your breath. The emotional state can change according to how the frequency of breathing and its rhythm changes.
8. Surround yourself with positive emotions. Look at everything in your life from a positive perspective.

Now you know how to control your emotions. An understanding should come that a person should monitor his emotions, control his behavior and mood. It must be understood that excessive manifestation of emotions can lead to a deterioration in general well-being, as well as a negative impact on interaction with other people. Remember that it is also not recommended to restrain your feelings unnecessarily, otherwise you will further aggravate your condition. However, splashing out feelings through aggression or anger is unacceptable. Therefore, it is so important to be able to control yourself, to find ways to get rid of excessive stress.

The inability to control our emotions, sometimes, not in the best way affects our relationships with other people. If you want to avoid problems in many areas of life due to the inability to suppress your anger, jealousy and other negative feelings, then we recommend that you use some simple tips.

Managing your own emotions - good or bad

It should be understood that the control of emotions does not mean a ban on emotions in general. It's about about the upbringing of an internal culture, which, as a rule, characterizes precisely decent and self-confident people. Please note that there is nothing wrong with freely displaying your spontaneous positive emotions, but this should in no way prevent you from suppressing negative manifestations of feelings in special situations.

As you already understood, control of emotions can be called control, first of all, involuntary emotions, which in turn can be called one of the most important components of a person’s self-control. It is also important to understand that control in no way equals prohibition.

If you learn to control your emotions well at the right time, then, of course, this will only play into your hands. When a person is truly mature, he will not complain about the lack of self-control - he diligently develops it. And in general, complaints are the behavior inherent in children and "adult children" who do not want to grow up.

As a result, we can conclude that for a comfortable life in society, control of emotions is still needed. However, for a neurotic and unrestrained person, this will not be easy - in this case, such a task can do more harm than good. Such a person will be even more annoyed, and as a result, the situation may turn out to be worse than it was originally. At the same time, it is important to emphasize that the total inability to restrain oneself refers to mental disorders, no matter how serious it may sound. Perhaps it makes sense to consult a specialist. If you learn to manage your emotions, then there will be no need to control them.

Remember that the spontaneous nature of emotions interferes with our achievement of long-term goals - with our mood swings, we can complicate our own life at the most inopportune moment. It is very difficult to come to the realization of one's true purpose for a person who regularly succumbs to an emotional outburst.

How to learn to control your emotions and manage them

We often get emotional at the wrong time. Not always one of our reactions is an adequate response in a given situation. Probably, you yourself have noticed that in moments of emotional outburst, often, we think much worse than in a calm state. Sometimes, you just need to move away from the situation, but internal impulses simply do not allow it. And yet, a person who has managed to make himself a developed personality understands how useful it is to be able to manage your emotions. Also, for sure, many understand that an educated person differs from an ill-mannered person in that he is able to control himself, even when it is rather difficult. In general, self-control is very important. What techniques can you use to cultivate self-restraint?

"Hold" your face

This advice is very simple, but has a tremendous effect. Even if a negative emotion has already arisen for you, do not let it show on your face! If you manage to do this, the intensity of emotions will obviously become less.

With some effort, for sure, you will be able to develop the skill of “calm presence” in yourself. As you know, the Indians are famous for the fact that they often skillfully control their emotions - not a single muscle flinches on their face when they are angry, disappointed or surprised. Perhaps, in such a reaction, the true inner strength of a person is manifested. Conclusion: no matter what storms overcome you inside, outwardly you should not demonstrate it.

Breath

In peak situations, it is important to monitor your breathing - when its rhythm changes, the emotional state also undergoes a change. Just calmly inhale and exhale, and your condition will gradually return to normal.

It is highly undesirable to demonstrate your negative emotions in the workplace - this is fraught not only with problems in the team, but, sometimes, with a banal dismissal. However, it is important to note that not only the subordinate, but also the leadership should restrain oneself!

When you are the boss, you need to learn to control yourself emotionally

People who find themselves in leadership positions often cease to adequately evaluate colleagues over time, demanding more from them than they are able or able to give. As a result, an employee who does not live up to expectations falls under emotional fire. Think about it, perhaps in your team there is a similar situation, and you simply demand more from people than they are obliged to do. If this is not the case at all, and you understand that the employee has not coped with his immediate duties, then it is much more effective to reprimand him in a cold and strict tone than to go on shouting.

Ways to deal with emotions when you are a subordinate

The most important thing is not to try on the image of the victim. Sometimes, an employee who is offended by the manager almost “relishes” the painful phrases that he voices. A person does not analyze the spoken words, does not think what caused them - he simply accumulates hatred for the boss. Of course, it is not easy to be neutral towards a person who radiates negativity in your direction, but it is also important to remember that hatred destroys a person, so you should not cherish it. Perhaps, in some similar situation, you are not able to give a worthy rebuff, but you are certainly capable of ignoring. When you realize that the situation has become a peak, just turn off your consciousness. You don't have to prove anything to your opponent. Wait until he speaks out, and only then calmly tell him what you wanted. Do not worry that this will not be timely - this will not cancel the desired effect.

How to become emotionally stable in any situation

Learn to deal with negative emotions and not succumb to them

If you develop the following skills in yourself, then it will be much easier for you to learn how to manage your emotions.

• Attention management. You should pay attention to important, positive things, and try not to focus on the negative.
• Control of facial expressions. In particularly difficult situations, it is advisable to save face and not show that you are overcome by any negative emotions.
• Developed imagination. It helps, if necessary, to distract from unpleasant situations, and “switch” to something else.
• Breath. When you learn to control your breathing, it will be easier for you to calm yourself.

As you already understood, not everyone is able to manage their own emotional state. And in general, not all emotions can be controlled. And yet, each of us can approach the ideal in this sense, if we really want to set ourselves such a task. You can come to this on your own or trust specialists in specialized centers. In the second case, it is important that your mentors have high qualifications, and the centers have a good reputation. To decide on the choice of such an institution, you can read the reviews on the Web.

Remember that our thoughts play a huge role in our life. When we pay attention to the positive aspects, then inside we seem to “start” a positive state. If we focus more on the negative aspects, then we attract more negativity into our lives. Of course, this does not mean that it should be ignored. life problems, however, learn to treat them constructively: not to be a victim of circumstances, but to look for ways to solve difficulties.

If negative thoughts overwhelm you, try to forcibly switch them, direct them in a positive direction - start thinking about something good, or make some plans that cheer you up. You can simply visualize beautiful pictures in your thoughts - landscapes, loved ones in a festive setting, and so on.

In moments when you are trying to get your emotions under control, you should think about how you benefit from being in a negative state. Often, a person does not realize that fear, anger or resentment is not a natural or natural state at all. In fact, this is our personal choice, and subconsciously we decided that it is beneficial to us in the current situation and solves some of our problems. Until you understand why you chose to experience this state, it will be difficult for you to get rid of it.

Do not suppress or hide your emotions - it is important to be able to control them

As we have already noted, do not forbid yourself to express emotions. We are talking about something completely different - emotions need to be kept under control! Do not give vent to too negative manifestations of feelings, and allow yourself to demonstrate a positive mood. Let's find out what a person who is not able to control negative emotions can lose.

1) Positive state

A person who has been overcome by negative feelings is hardly capable of thinking positively. Having succumbed to the influence of anger, anger, or something like that, he is unlikely to be able to “tune in” to another wave in the near future.

2) Calmness

Sometimes, this is even more important than being positive. A person who is in a calm state is always able to think more soberly than one who is subject to overwhelming emotions.

3) Relationships

Unfortunately, many relationships, which include love, friendship, business, are collapsing due to the fact that someone failed to restrain the flow of negativity in time. Often such behavior undermines trust, kills feelings, which in the end often leads to a break in relations.

4) Reputation

A person who allows himself the frequent manifestation of negative emotions is unlikely to have a reputation as a respected and adequate person. When you don’t know what to expect from the interlocutor or you assume that he may suddenly flare up or something like that, you try to limit communication with him. Gradually, an opinion is formed about a person that does not paint him at all.

5) Control over life

Those who are not able to control their emotions cannot fully control their lives. By succumbing to a sudden impulse, a person can lose a lot or face other unpleasant consequences of his impulse. As a result, the life of such a person develops less successfully than it could.

In general, the list of losses does not end there, but it is already obvious from the points listed above that the lack of control over emotions can sometimes lead to an unpleasant outcome.

Of course, when there are children in the family, the nervous situation in the family may not develop in the best way on their subsequent psychological development. In the presence of children, it is especially important to control your emotions!

Techniques for coping with over-emotionality

identification technique. It can help in some peak situations when you need to control yourself. In such cases, it is useful to imagine yourself not as yourself, but as someone else. You can try on the image of some hero or person that you want to be like in such moments. Accordingly, you should react and act in the same way as the person with whom you identify yourself would do. The method is quite suitable for creative people with a developed imagination.

Self-hypnosis technique. You may well use a simplified self-hypnosis technique. At the right moment, you should say certain attitudes to yourself: “I own myself”, “I am invulnerable and calm”, “Nothing will drive me crazy”, and the like.

Parenting Books on Managing Emotions

If you understand that your family members do not always manage to cope with the intensity of any emotions, then, of course, it makes sense to read the literature that teaches you to cope with the manifestation of negativity.

What books are worth paying special attention to? You may like the methodology that Richard Fitfield offers in his book “Managing Emotions. Creation of harmonious relations. Also quite a few useful information can be gleaned from The New Positive Psychology: A Scientific Perspective on Happiness and the Meaning of Life (Seligman Martin E.P.). For many parents, the work of Capponi W. and Novak T. “Your own psychologist” or Rainwater J. “It is in your power to help in managing emotions can help. How to become your own psychotherapist.

Emotion management does not need to be presented as a particularly difficult task, however, it should not be ignored either. It is often difficult to achieve the set goal for people who have already missed the moment of the emergence of emotions, did not warn her and the actions of the interlocutors who created these emotions.

It is easy for an experienced specialist to understand whether a person is able to control his emotions by studying his “body language”. If a person is imperturbable, his body is relaxed and collected - he is probably able to master his condition at the right moment. If a person's movements are chaotic, his gaze is uncertain or wandering, then, apparently, it is not easy for him to cope with possible negative reactions. Also, a specialist can give a very disappointing assessment to a person whose body is very tense, clamped, or as if “trembling”. What is meant by the last definition? "Rattle" is characterized by uncontrolled tension running through the body - it can be twitching of the fingers, lips, muscles near the eyes, and so on. These symptoms can be learned to be controlled by practicing "calm presence" which is specifically mentioned in this article.

There is another important condition in managing emotions - you should learn to relax yourself in various conditions and situations. Always make sure that the body is in a calm state - such a skill will provide you with wonderful results.

Some believe that in a love relationship it is not necessary to restrain their emotions, believing that a loved one should accept them "as they are." It is worth noting that for the time being this may happen, but one day a flurry of negative emotions can still kill the feelings of even the most loving partner. At the same time, this happens completely involuntarily - it’s just that a person once realizes that he is tired of unreasonable jealousy, irascibility, aggression, resentment, or other impartial emotions of a lover.

When this critical moment comes, it becomes difficult to correct the situation, and sometimes even impossible. Of course, in order not to lead to such an outcome, it is better to initially value your relationship, and not allow spontaneous negative emotions to destroy the trust and harmony that have developed in a couple. Remember that one thoughtless word can echo in all your subsequent relationships with your loved one.

Don Juan on the control of emotions (Carlos Castaneda "Controlled Stupidity")

The last point will tell you about stalking - a special technique that helps to track down your emotions and feelings in order to keep them under control. In Castaneda's writings, don Juan says that stalking can be called "controlled stupidity." If you have studied English language, then, for sure, you know that the word "stalking" comes from the verb "to stalk", which means "secretly pursue, using various tricks and tricks", and usually refers to hunting. A hunter is called a stalker. Don Juan Matus taught Castaneda how to hunt, first offering to study the habits of wild animals.

The author of the book is convinced that one should not forget about the stalker's method in everyday life. It is obvious that the actions of the stalker, as a rule, are based on observations, and not at all on what he thinks. Often we are unable to distinguish between our ideas and reality, confusing observation with judgment. Meanwhile, when the hunter is watching, there is no room in his thoughts for reflection, condemnation, internal dialogue - he simply observes what is happening.

Carlos Castaneda points out our attention to the fact that, at times, we not only do not control our negative emotions, but also indulge them. Many people know what it means to be offended by someone, angry or suffering for many years, without doing anything that could eliminate this condition.

This self-indulgence, weakness, and self-pity don Juan calls a waste of energy, which brings only fatigue and deprives us of many accomplishments. Of course, there is no doubt that a person who indulges in such weaknesses becomes weak himself.

As you know, a person is not just a physical being that needs food, sleep, etc. Each of us has emotions that are important and need to be expressed. Experienced psychologists advise not to keep your feelings inside and let them spill out - this way you can avoid stress and many psychological problems.

On the other hand, there must be a balance in everything.

A person who does not know how to control his emotions is like a car without brakes, which rushes along the highway, ignoring the signs, and then an accident is inevitable.

Our feelings, if mistreated, can not create, but destroy us and the people around us.

How to learn to control your emotions?

This is the question we will try to answer in this article. By following a few simple tips, you will learn what control and self-control are, learn to control yourself even in the most stressful and unforeseen situations.

1. Don't bring yourself to a "boiling point".

Contrary to many stereotypes, psychologists have proven that any, even the most unbridled temper, can be pacified if you do not take yourself to extremes. And this applies not only to negative, but also to positive emotions. The development of self-control is something that comes from one's own experience and practice.

For example, you start arguing with someone and lose your temper, “heating up” like a boiling kettle.

Even if you weren't the one who initiated the conflict, but you feel that the management of emotions is starting to get out of hand, just stop, leave the room, take a break from communication. After a few minutes you will understand how it was the right decision. Thanks to a simple effort of will, you will be able to save the nerves of yourself and your loved ones, and, in the end, just remain friends.

2. Don't make excuses.

Many needlessly emotional people(this is especially true for women), who do not know how to control their emotions, often justify their behavior with anything - bad weather, temperament, creative nature, hormonal changes, etc. Of course, external factors have an influence on our psychological state, but not so much that it cannot be kept under supervision.

Start taking responsibility for your actions and learn to control your emotions.

3. Beware of sudden emotional outbursts.

We live in interesting time when entertainment and sensations that previously could only be dreamed of became available. Cinemas with the effect of full presence and immersion in virtual reality, action attractions, incredible slides - all this can cause a violent outburst of emotions. At first, it looks like euphoria, from which we feel good, but then people with not quite a stable psyche can observe side effects such as increased heart rate, sweating, nausea, fear, etc. Therefore, before attending such events, it is important to learn how to restrain your emotions and not take risks once again.

4. Do breathing exercises.

For those who wish to know how to learn to control their emotions, it is important to pay attention to their breathing. We are not talking about some strange techniques, but about the natural process of saturating the brain with oxygen. As soon as you feel it, practice the following exercise: close your eyes and slowly take a deep breath through your nose. Holding your breath for a couple of seconds, slowly exhale through your mouth, and do the same steps 8-10 times. After the exercise, you will notice a surge of vivacity and emotional balance.

5. Choose a quiet social circle.

Those who communicate with people who have a calm, accommodating character are less likely to wonder how to learn to control their emotions. The principle is relevant here: do not piss me off, and you yourself will be better off. The less you will be provoked into conflicts and disputes, the easier it will be to manage emotions. No emotion, no problem. However, it is not a fact that constantly being only in such an environment, the development of self-control will be successful, because outside the usual calm social circle, any stress can cause an uncontrollable flow of emotions.

6. Focus on solving the problem.

Most arise out of confusion and panic, as a reaction to a problem that has risen above us like an unbreakable rock. But any problem can be perceived from the other side - as a challenge, a certain task that we need to solve using all our ingenuity and creativity. Whatever happens, control and self-control is always important. Pull yourself together and say out loud: there are no unsolvable situations, I can handle it, and I will do it in the best way!

How to control your emotions and what is it? Emotions are the prerogative of every mentally healthy person, but the difficulty lies in the fact that often we absolutely do not understand how to control them.

Inefficient Methods

Almost constantly, we turn to tried and tested ways to manage emotions.

Young men often resort to computer games, strong drinks and cigarettes.

Girls try to curb their own emotions through food or shopping.

There's nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't happen all the time. But in most cases, these are not quite good ways we actually use on a daily basis. Ultimately, we have problems with relationships, job responsibilities and well-being.

Ways to control emotions

What are rational ways to control emotions?

There are some postulates that should not be forgotten.

1. Emotions are not your choice, since they are the responsibility of that part of the gray matter that is beyond our control.
2. Emotions are not governed by ethical standards. These are emotions, and nothing more.
3. You are responsible for your own emotions.
4. You are able to curb emotions, but you are not able to eradicate them.
5. Emotions often lead a person to the wrong path. But in some cases they can open up great prospects for us. It all depends on what you intend to do.
6. The more you suppress them, the more intense they become.
7. The best way to get your emotions under control is to allow yourself to experience them.
8. Emotions feed your thoughts. You can use your thoughts to control your own emotions.
9. You need to become aware of your emotions, as well as what they signal, and in this way you will get rid of nervous shocks. Simply put, you need to brainstorm your emotions.
10. Every emotion has a hidden meaning. This meaning allows you to better understand yourself, even if you try not to show it. Take care of yourself and come to terms with all the emotions that you experience by living the appropriate state.
11. The way your mother and father responded to your emotions influences how you perceive them now. While you were developing as a person, your emotions underwent similar changes. They became more and more complex and distinct.
12. Your emotions have long sought to splash out. They do not evaporate, but grow inside, and all this is not devoid of a certain meaning.
13. If you want to better understand your own emotions, then you can not fence yourself off from them, so as not to allow disagreements with people.

Hello, friends.

Many people ask how to learn to control their emotions and not be nervous. And indeed, this question is relevant today for many. People are beginning to understand that if we do not learn to control feelings, emotions and constantly get nervous, we will never become truly healthy and happy.

After all, what is meditation really?

It is the awakening of true awareness, the real Self, higher consciousness. You seem to rise to the height of a bird's flight and look at your psyche, your mind from above. Looking at them from the outside, you disidentify with them and begin to control them.

Those exercises that I gave above are similar to meditation. It’s just that in real meditation you don’t specifically evoke an emotion in yourself, don’t remember it, but create conditions for the spontaneous release of the psycho-emotional sphere. What feeling will appear before your eyes, and then dissolve under the onslaught of your awareness, you do not know in meditation.

However, by meditating, you will become very good at mastering the skill of controlling your psyche.

Understanding emotions in life

With the help of the above techniques and meditation, you can learn to control feelings and emotions. In complete silence, turning your gaze inward, you will get better and better. But as soon as you once again find yourself in a stressful situation, you again begin to get nervous, worry, experience fear, and so on, that is, the emotional sphere absorbs you again, you identify with it, lose yourself.

What to do? Everything is simple. It is necessary to develop mindfulness in everyday life, in other words, to be aware of and control emotions not only during meditation or during special exercises, but always, everywhere, in any situation.

In general, if you practice meditation correctly, the awareness gained in it will gradually pass into everyday life. But for many, due to the increased work of the psyche, this happens for a very long time. That is why you need to develop awareness outside of special practice.

What do we have to do? As soon as you begin to experience any unpleasant emotion, before it swallows you, you need to remember about awareness and try to look at it from the outside, to realize it. That is, apply the skill of looking at the feeling that you have learned in meditation or in exercises, but already in real life. Of course, this will be more difficult to do, it is not so easy to remember when emotion overwhelms you.

During a seated workout, you had ideal conditions for observing the psyche: silence, closed eyes, looking inward. Everything is more difficult in life.

But the main thing is not to despair. Each time you will get better and better. Even if you could not immediately stop the emotional avalanche, but remembered the realization a little later and said to yourself: "I got angry again, or, let's say, scared", then that's good. You succumbed to emotions, but you realized that you were angry, which means that you already realized it, albeit later. It was like a realization in hindsight. "Oh, I shouted again, I could not restrain myself, where I was at that time."

Many people become so identified with their psyche that they cannot even be aware later, when the emotion is behind them. They never admit to themselves or others that they were wrong, that they were not in themselves, that it was emotion that controlled them. People like sheep see only their own point of view and cannot look at the world from a different point of view, understand another person.

Therefore, realizing in hindsight, you have already taken a big step and become more developed. You have already become not a sheep, but a more conscious animal. In order to become completely human, you must be aware not only after you have already broken firewood, absorbed by emotion, but during the very emotional influx.

Recognize and re-aware. Look at emotions from the outside, but do not run away from them.

Gradually, you will get better and better.

How will this work in practice?

For example, you go to an important meeting, and you start to get nervous. Emotion immediately absorbs you, you lose your head, because you lose your I, you start to create anything. At this moment, there is a narrowing of consciousness due to the fact that the emotion has taken all the energy, all the attention. You start to see narrowly, like in a tunnel. That's why we make mistakes, we see, we realize limitedly.

At that moment, while the emotion has not taken all the energy and while you are still able to think something, you just need to remember that you can be aware of the emotion, observe it, control it. Remember the exercises, remember the skill of detached observation, acquired in exercises and meditation. Remembering, start looking at the emotion from the outside, be aware of it. The faster you remember, the easier it will be for you to stop the emotion, because at the beginning of an emotional avalanche you have more free energy, your head is not completely clouded yet, and there is still a piece of I left.

I repeat, as soon as an emotion has overwhelmed you, remember awareness and begin to be aware of it, look at it, or at its manifestations, from the outside.

If you do everything right, it will subside, dissolve, and you will come to the meeting, no longer nervous, with a sober head and do everything right.

Don't despair if it doesn't work right away. Yes, you won't be able to right now. Your awareness is still underdeveloped. Train it in meditation and over time you will easily be able to control emotions everywhere and always. You will succeed.

Life without emotions? What for?

It may seem to you that having learned to control our psyche, we will turn into some kind of robots without emotions or universal soldiers, always cold-blooded and never smiling. It may be better to be constantly nervous, but to remain human. This is a very erroneous opinion. And it arises from misconceptions about human consciousness.

As I said before, emotions do not need to be completely eliminated. They help us interact with the outside world, with the people around us. They are created for this by nature. We just need to remember that they are only a tool, our part, they belong to us, but we are not them. For most people, the psycho-emotional sphere absorbs our Self so much that there is no question of any awareness. We lose ourselves in emotions, we identify with them. When they arise, we follow their lead, completely obey them, and therefore constantly make mistakes, regretting them later.

When we learn to control them and awaken our awareness, our emotions will change. Yes, they will not disappear, there is no goal to get rid of them, but they will become different. What is very important, they will no longer go off scale, you will forget about the emotional shaking.

If we present our emotions in the form of a graph, then we will get both a positive peak and a negative one. It's full of positive and negative emotions. Busting and shaking from positive emotions is also not very good, it is also a waste of energy and health. After you learn to be aware of your psyche, the emotional graph will cut off and there will no longer be big peaks. All this will lead to an even, not twitchy, calm character. You will stop losing your head in any difficult situations, gain sobriety of thoughts and clarity of thinking. After all, emotions only intoxicate a person, do not give a look at the true state of things. Having gained control over them, you seem to wake up from hibernation, sober up and finally begin to see everything around in the true light.

Those who do not know the nature of consciousness do not understand why it is necessary to put control over emotions. They think that we consist only of the lower layers of consciousness: emotions, feelings, thoughts. But in fact, having removed the upper layer of the psyche, where emotions live, deeper layers of our consciousness begin to come to the surface. This is how we get to the real Self, to awareness, to the human soul. And these upper layers have their own feelings (not emotions), which are different from animal feelings and emotions. And they are much more pleasant, more saturated, more colorful. Such feelings include love, compassion, quiet spiritual joy and other manifestations of the soul.

That is why a person who has learned to control his emotions does not become an insensitive robot. On the contrary, he acquires other feelings that are much more pleasant to experience. And the fewer peaks of emotional shake-up you have, the more you will experience precisely positive higher feelings. negative emotions will be replaced by positive ones.

You will more often experience joy simply from existence itself, depression, apathy and other psychological problems will go away.

Therefore, learn to manage your emotions in order not only to gain bright positive feelings, to find health and happiness, but also to become a Human with a capital letter, not to be an animal.

That's all for today.

And remember, you will succeed. Health and happiness are actually not far from you. You just have to put things in order in your head, and they will come to you.

See you soon, friends.

And now some nice music for you from me.

Sincerely, Sergey Tigrov