What love does to the brain, why breakups cause real pain, and how to get over a breakup with the help of science. Time DOES NOT heal: How to survive mental pain
Regular failures in the love field and a prolonged lack of career growth, sad news about the loss of a loved one and oppressive loneliness are the prerequisites for the occurrence of severe pain in the bowels of the soul. Such a phenomenon cannot be cured by taking an effective pill or mixture. The consciousness of a person who is in depression acquires a coma.
It will not be possible to diagnose the problem that has appeared, because no medicines have been found to treat the above symptoms in the 21st century. Soothing capsules and psychotropic drugs can aggravate the current situation, harming the consciousness damaged by grief and feelings. It is not surprising that people have a question: How to relieve severe mental pain? What is the best way to bring a loved one back to a fulfilling life? Where is the formula for success hidden? How to get rid of?
Mental pain appears in people who were not mentally prepared for the events that occurred. If you set yourself up in advance for various options for the development of the situation, then it will be much easier to realize a fait accompli
How to deal with emotional pain: a step-by-step guide to action
To solve the problem, it is recommended to contact a psychologist who correctly diagnoses the cause of spiritual experiences by offering his own method of healing. However, it also becomes possible to get rid of severe pain, which every minute absorbs the consciousness of a person. Most importantly, follow the simple sequence of actions recommended below:
- Find the cause of the emotional pain.
- Do not deny the existence of depression by accepting past events as an element of the past.
- Realize the magnitude of the situation.
- Decide on the consequences by projecting the most "terrible" picture of events.
- Compare the results obtained with the scale of the situation. Are the realities not so harsh?
- Change the familiar environment, gradually arousing interest in life in the mind.
- Get rid of the reminders of the past event by “opening” a new page of your own being.
- Enjoy the positive moments while avoiding the negative ones.
- Learn to live in a new format, becoming happy.
It is difficult only with the help of words and encouraging phrases. To restore mutual understanding with the damaged consciousness of a close friend and lover, you will have to be around regularly, restoring the lost trust. Remember that severe mental pain causes a state of apathy towards the world, aggression towards people, hatred for the events that have happened. Do not transfer this spectrum of emotions to yourself, because your loved one does not want to offend you - at this moment it is very difficult for him.
If you regularly train emotional stability, you can prevent the occurrence of mental pain. Rational perception of past events is a reliable base for a balanced and invulnerable person
Options for solving the problem at different ages
If you want to help a loved one get rid of mental pain, be sure to consider his age. At different intervals of life, the worldview of people has a distinct similarity, so the methods for solving the problem are identical:
- Age 5–10 years.
In children, spiritual experiences arise because of the unfulfilled promises of parents who did not fulfill the cherished dream of the child. Encouraging such a format of behavior is an inappropriate decision by adults, but you need to help the baby during such a period. To "free" the consciousness of the offspring from, an unplanned trip to the amusement park is enough. You can buy a young explorer who is exploring the world a portion of ice cream or a new toy - most importantly, a moment of surprise that causes positive emotions in the child.
- Age 10–18 years.
In such a period of time, mental pain becomes a consequence of the betrayal of a loved one or appears after a series of failures negatively perceived by peers. that take possession of the mind of a teenager, slow down the process of growing up, preventing the child from being realized in society. The only rational way out of this situation is to switch the attention of a person who is in adolescence to an exciting activity. A new social circle will allow a teenager to painlessly survive a depressive state.
- Age 18–30 years.
To restore emotional balance, you need to regularly be near an adult who is experiencing severe stress. At this age, depression appears after a failed love relationship that ended in divorce. Discord in the family, lack of communication with the child, dissatisfaction with the authorities, lack of funds - the reasons for the experiences are varied. However, the method of treatment is invariably the same - heart-to-heart talks and a reliable "shoulder" of support.
In an attempt to help, do not become a "hostage" of your own mercy, sharing the worldview of a person experiencing severe mental pain. You should listen, giving him the opportunity to speak out, but disagree, maintaining the format of depressive communication. Be there and prove your loyalty by restoring your loved one's faith in people and a brighter future.
Definition of mental pain
What is heartache? Is it a disease or a defensive reaction of the body?
From a doctor's point of view, it's both.
The brain, in this way, tries to convey to us, to signal that it is sick and needs help to cope with today's problem. If he is not helped today, then tomorrow this condition can provoke the formation of a more complex mental pathology.
Emotional pain as a defensive reaction
Any person can experience mental pain, including a mentally healthy person, for example, who has experienced a significant loss of someone or something.
Many conflicts that seem unsolvable in people with a certain type of personality (suspicious, anxious, with increased responsibility, always doubting everything) can cause a feeling of pain in the soul. In these cases, mental pain is regarded as a protective reaction of the psyche to excessive stress.
Mental pain as a symptom of the disease
However, it is not uncommon for mental pain to be a manifestation (symptom) of a mental illness (mental disorder). Particular attention should be paid to the fact that the very expression - "mental illness", has a direct origin from the words mental pain. The feeling of mental pain is the most common symptom of the most common mental disorder in recent years - depression.
The reasons
All the causes of experiencing pain in the soul, as mentioned above, can be divided into two groups:
- the first - diseases (mental disorders and behavioral disorders),
- the second is psychological (psychogenic), conflicts between the "real" and the "desired" (true neuroses).
Help with mental pain
It is possible and necessary to help a person experiencing mental pain.
In some cases, help is a conversation and support, or, conversely, isolation and temporary loneliness.
In others - neurometabolic therapy with the use of special methods of psychotherapy and medications, constant strict supervision by the attending physician.
Unfortunately, there is no universal remedy for mental pain. Each case requires an individual solution.
Treatment
Is it possible to remove or relieve mental pain on your own? If possible, how?
If the pain in the soul is not a symptom of a mental disorder, then you can try to treat mental pain yourself with some activities, such as: take a contrast shower, try to give physical activity (squats, running, swimming), try to sleep.
If mental pain is a manifestation of any disease, then the help of a specialist psychotherapist or psychiatrist is needed. The problem is that, as a rule, with mental disorders, a critical attitude towards their condition may decrease, and the sick person does not seek help, does not turn to a specialist. And a healthy person who, after stress, suffers from pain in the soul, on the contrary, is inclined to seek support, help from loved ones, tries to find a way to treat mental pain, turns to a doctor for advice.
What to do if you or your loved one is seized and does not let go of the pain in the soul? If, moreover, it also intensifies day by day?
There is only one answer. You need to go to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.
Firstly, he knows how to quickly help and relieve this painful feeling.
Secondly, if mental pain is a manifestation of any mental disorder and treatment is required, then the psychotherapist will be able to choose therapy (medication and psychotherapy).
The Brain Clinic provides adequate assistance to all those who apply with different types and varying degrees of pain in the soul.
Call +7 495 135-44-02
We will help you or your loved ones get rid of mental pain!
We help in the most severe cases, even if the previous treatment did not help.
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Mental pain is emotional suffering, unpleasant and painful in its sensations for a person. Mental pain is also referred to as the pain of the soul body and reckoned with the loss of survival potential. Often it is much more dangerous than bodily diseases, because it causes disturbances in the work of all internal organs and provokes malfunctions throughout the body.
How to deal with heartache
Emotional suffering develops when experiencing a life event or greatly worrying about a loved one. Mental pain is often inherent in a person when his personal ideas do not coincide with what is happening in reality. This is because significant experiences leading to are due to patterns formed in the human brain, and reality is not what the individual expects it to be. All these disappointments lead to emotional suffering.
Mental pain by a person can be experienced both explicitly and covertly, when a person suffers, but does not admit it to himself.
How to deal with mental pain? A person copes with mental pain in several ways. In one case, mental pain moves from a conscious sensation to the subconscious and the individual mistakenly believes that he is no longer suffering. In fact, what happens is that a person simply avoids pain, and transfers it to the subconscious.
If an individual is inclined to demonstrate his actions and feelings, then this means that he gives vent to his mental pain. A person in such cases begins to consult with friends, acquaintances, seeks salvation in eliminating the root of the problem.
For example, if relationships with parents cause mental pain, then a person is looking for all possible ways to find a common language with them.
If a person has chosen a method of avoidance, then this method is expressed in not recognizing the problem, often the individual says that everything is fine with him and does not even admit to himself in personal experiences. In this case, mental pain persists, passing into an implicit, subconscious form. This state is very difficult to cope with, it is painful for a person, much more emotional than an open confession, as well as saying the problem out loud.
How to get rid of mental pain
It is very difficult to get rid of latent pain, it is characterized by a protracted (for years!) course. At the same time, a person's character, relationships with others change. A person with mental pain begins to attract negative people to himself, gradually changing the level of acquaintances, or completely abandons them, forever excluding communication with people.
Often, emotional suffering does not allow an individual to create, work, it torments him, and a person often does not understand what is happening to him. Separate situations are able to remind a person of those moments that caused pain in his soul many years ago. This is due to the fact that emotions were driven into the subconscious many years ago, so a person cries and worries, not fully understanding what is happening to him, for example, after watching a emotional scene from a movie. In cases where you cannot cope with mental pain on your own, you need the help of a specialist or a loved one who is ready to listen to you.
Heartache after a breakup
Psychological reactions to the end of a relationship with a loved one have much in common with the reaction to physical loss, namely, the death of a loved one. The emotional pain after parting with a loved one can drag on for many months and years. During this period, a person is acutely worried. Experiences include stages of resentment, denial and pain.
Initially, there is a stage of denial, which manifests itself in the subconscious refusal of a person to objectively relate to the breakup and be aware of the end of the relationship.
The pain after a breakup is aggravated by the realization that a loved one is no more, and will never be there again. The moment a person realizes and accepts reality, he will stop suffering. This understanding does not come overnight. The duration of this period depends on the continuation of contacts with the former lover. To make it easier and faster to go through this stage of mental suffering, psychologists advise to abandon all contacts, as well as get rid of all objects that remind of past relationships.
The period of denial is replaced by a period of resentment, which is characterized by accusations of the former lover of all sins and the desire of the offended to take revenge, especially if betrayal was the reason for the break.
Psychologically, this is understandable: blaming another person is much easier than admitting part of your guilt in a similar situation yourself. This stage is marked by the emergence of an emotional block: there is a loop on negative experiences, which significantly delays the period of psychological recovery. At the next stage of the life crisis, worries about lost time in relationships that were in vain develop. Such experiences are accompanied by a fear of loneliness, as well as the uncertainty of the future, the fear that it will not be possible to build new relationships.
Most psychologists are inclined to believe that tears, suffering and reflection in loneliness are an obligatory, as well as a necessary part in overcoming this life crisis. There is nothing wrong with wanting to cry. Allow yourself to suffer and cry - this will bring relief and lead to recovery.
If, nevertheless, a decision was made to break up, then the lost relationship should not be restored, and for this reason, indulge in sad memories, call, and also meet. This will only slow down and make it more difficult to overcome emotional suffering.
Women often need more time than men to forget about an ex-partner, because for women, loving a man is the most important part of life. For a man, the priority in life is often work, as well as a career. In addition, it is usually easier for men to find a new partner.
Psychologists advise, left alone, to do. If, nevertheless, for two years, mental pain after parting worries, then it is necessary to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist who will help in solving this problem.
Severe mental pain
Edwin Shneidman American psychologist gave the following unique definition of mental pain. It is not like physical or bodily pain. Mental pain is manifested in experiences that are often caused by the grieving person himself.
Mental pain, filled with suffering, is an expression of the loss of the meaning of life. It is marked by torment, longing, confusion. This state gives rise to loneliness, grief, guilt, humiliation, shame, before the inevitability - aging, death, physical illness.
Eliminating the cause of suffering helps to get rid of severe mental pain. If the cause of emotional suffering is the negative behavior of a person regarding you, then in this case it is necessary to eliminate these causes, and not extinguish your emotions regarding this person. For example, if you are having trouble with your boss that provoked heartache, then you should work on your relationship with him, and not on your emotions and how you feel about it. You should find a common language or quit.
If emotional suffering is caused by an irreparable situation (illness or death), then you should work on the perception of reality and your emotions.
Mental pain lasts from six months to a year with the loss of a loved one. Only after this period of time, psychologists advise building new relationships in order not to repeat the same mistakes.
How to relieve mental pain? It is necessary to admit to yourself that an unpleasant situation has already occurred. This can alleviate your condition.
Second, go through the period of pain and come to your senses. Then we build a new future, but without these circumstances or this person. For example, without a favorite job or a loved one. Mentally build everything in detail, how you will live on. Often the real world becomes in a person the way he sees it in his imagination.
Often, severe mental pain is hidden under other masks and is confused with anger, disappointment, resentment.
How to deal with severe emotional pain? Find people who are worse off than you. Show them care. This way you will switch from your problem.
Master the system of correct breathing: with a long inhalation and a short exhalation. Proper breathing can help your body cells recover quickly, strengthen the nervous system.
Say something nice to people every day, positive emotions will also be transferred to you.
Follow the daily routine, get enough sleep, this will help restore nerve cells.
Take your mind off your worries by dancing, jogging, walking, push-ups, physical exercises. Sign up for a massage.
Avoid the return of intense mental suffering. Scientists are inclined to believe that a person stays in a state of depression for a quarter of an hour, and the rest of the time he himself creates mental suffering for himself, prolonging and aggravating them. Therefore, the ability not to return mental pain again, which is facilitated by situations from the past that provoked experiences, is of great importance.
Doctor of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMedoMed"
Mental pain can be incomparably stronger than physical pain, and the fact that time heals is, in my opinion, a beautiful metaphor. Over time, the pain really dulls, but does not disappear completely. Time allows the pain to go to the depths and settle there, occasionally reminding of itself in similar situations, or provoked by smells, sounds, people, the situation from the traumatic moment.
The first thing to understand about pain is its necessity and importance at a given moment in time. Pain not only allows us to feel alive, feeling, but also indicates serious internal problems. At the moment of acute pain, you don’t need to think about it, you just need to understand that the pain has come to help us, and thank her for it. Then, when she lets go, you can return to the thought of the need to gain some important experience or solve some problem.
At the moment when it hurts, it hurts, you need to allow yourself this pain. Without fear, clamps, any “what if”, just allow yourself to feel it for as long as you need. An important point is that if, against the background of feeling pain, the brain works too actively, constantly urging and prodding it, it is important to calm it down. Recommendations - as I gave in previous articles. Our task is to live the pain completely, to allow it to come out and leave our space, and not to wind it up and plunge into the role of a victim. If tears come, let them come, with tears, part of the pain can also come out.
That is, the idea is that the pain does not go to the depth, does not overgrown with tissue there and then does not hurt when touched carelessly. From an energetic point of view, any hidden pain has an extremely negative impact on the life, fate and health of a person. Pain is a low vibration that generates and attracts new pain, resentment, condemnation, subconscious aggression. It is from the state of pain that we offend people, we show cruelty, coldness, indifference, and other traits. If a person is freed from all pain - acute and chronic, he will inevitably become bright, loving and merciful. Pain blocks these qualities, as well as the ability to discover and develop them in oneself. Therefore, it is so important to let go of the pain, no matter how unpleasant and scary it may be.
Technically it can be done like this. At the moment when you feel pain, relax (a series of long, calm, deep breaths in and out in a comfortable position), mentally lower yourself to the center of your chest, turn off your head, and mentally give yourself permission to feel. Let the pain manifest itself in its entirety, it is not as scary as it seems, if the pain is not accompanied by winding thoughts. The brain should not participate in the process, the area of feelings is not its diocese.
As you feel, you will notice that the state is changing, and quite rapidly. Everything is individual, and for someone it will be 10 minutes, for someone it will be two hours, but it is important to give yourself (and pain) this time to solve the problem once and for all. If you do not treat pain as an enemy that has come to torture you, then feeling it can become a kind of fascinating journey deep into yourself. Once you try to allow yourself to experience pain, you will be surprised at how it will happen and how it will end. At some point, you will feel that the pain is no more.
If you have reached the end, take a control test. Remember the traumatic situation that gave rise to pain, in all its details, remember the picture directly - how it looked, what you said, what they answered you, what it smelled like, what were the sounds, what did you feel at that moment. Having made such a request, concentrate on your feelings - what are they now? Maybe somewhere else it hurts or scratches something. Dive into it, let it also come out and leave your life.
This pain will no longer affect you, now is the time to figure out why she came, what she wanted to tell you about. What is your contribution to the current situation? It is important to be sincere with yourself, not to dissemble, not to run away from the obvious. Calmly, thoughtfully analyze the situation, forgive all offenders, yourself, life, the Universe, and then work with the quality or emotion that caused the situation. If it doesn't work on your own, write to me. , let's work together .
Ideally, any pain that is in our space should be released and eliminated. This is done through memories. Form the intention to release all the pain, and the memory will surely begin to rise to the surface one after another situation. Live each as described above. Remember, just letting go of the pain is not enough. Pain itself is only a symptom of the problem. The problem is always there per pain. When you eliminate pain, look at what caused it. Take your time to analyze situations, ask yourself the right questions. Look at yourself in situations from a distance, without judgment or prejudice. Imagine that you are examining someone else's situation. Everywhere you need to find your contribution and see what qualities or subconscious beliefs caused your words or actions. A very important and necessary work - both for the emotional state and for physical health. It may take weeks or even months, but it's worth it. I hope this article will help you seriously advance on the path of joy and self-love).
With faith in your success,
Julia Solomonova
