You are being deceived. Lie theory: how to understand that you are being deceived. A steadfast and uninterrupted gaze

• It can be very difficult to decipher the signs that you are being deceived.
• And, unfortunately, there is no way to determine how honest this or that person is with you, 100%.
• But at the same time, there are some fairly obvious signals that a person may be cheating on you.

How can you understand that someone is lying to you? This is a question people have most likely been asking themselves since the time when lies were even invented.

A study by Dr. Lynn ten Brinke, a forensic psychologist at the Haas School of Business at Columbia University, Berkeley, and her collaborators suggested that our instincts to spot liars are quite strong—but our conscious minds can sometimes let us down.

Fortunately, there are signals we can turn our attention to when trying to spot a liar.

Dr. Lillian Glass, behavioral analyst, body language expert, and author of Liar's Body Language, said that if you're trying to determine if someone is lying to you, you first need to understand how that person behaves under normal circumstances. .

With this advice still in mind, here are a few signs that you are being scammed:

1. People who lie tend to change the position of their head frequently.

If you see someone suddenly move their head when you ask them a direct question, it is quite possible that the person is lying to you about something.

“His head may tilt, twitch backward, tilt, lift, or move sideways,” writes Glass.

This often happens right before the person is about to answer the question.

2. Their breathing changes

When someone cheats on you, they may start to breathe more heavily, says Glass. "It's a reflective action."

As their breathing changes, their shoulders lift and their voice becomes less deep, she adds. “Essentially, they are short of breath because their heartbeat and blood flow change. Your body experiences similar changes when you are nervous or tense, just like when you lie.”

3. They try to be very calm

It's a well-known fact that people fidget when they're nervous, but Glass says you should also watch out for people who stop moving altogether.

"This may be a sign of a primitive neurological response of 'fight' rather than 'flight' as the body takes position and prepares itself for a possible confrontation," says Glass. “When you are talking and taking part in a normal conversation, it is natural to move your body in a slow, relaxed, and mostly unconscious manner. Therefore, if you observe a rigid, immovable position without a single extra movement, then most often this is a serious signal that something is wrong.

4. They can repeat words and phrases

This happens because the person is trying to convince you and himself of what he is saying out loud. "They try to validate their own lies in their head." For example, he or she might say, “I don't… I don't…” over and over again, Glass says.

Plus, repetition is a way to earn time to think through the next thought, she adds.

5. They may provide too much information.

“When someone is constantly giving you more and more information—information you didn’t even ask for, especially in detail—there’s a pretty high chance he or she isn’t telling you the truth,” writes Glass. “Liars talk a lot because they hope that, thanks to their seeming openness, you yourself will begin to believe them.”

6. They may touch or cover their mouth.

"It's a telltale sign that a person automatically puts their hands over their mouth when they don't want to have trouble answering a question," says Glass.

"When adults put their hands over their lips, it means they don't want to reveal everything at once, and that they just don't want to tell you the truth," she says. “They naturally close interaction with you.”

7. They instinctively try to cover vulnerable parts of the body.

These locations may include the neck, chest, head, or abdomen.

“I often saw this in courtrooms when I worked as a consultant for lawyers. I can always tell when someone's evidence naturally offends the defendant when I see his or her hand covering the front of the throat,” says Glass.

8. They start moving their legs

“This is a sign that the body is starting to take over the mind,” explains Glass. The movement of the legs tells you that the potential liar is uncomfortable and nervous. Also, it shows that he or she wants to get out of the situation faster; they want to leave, she says.

“This is one of the key ways to identify a liar. Just look at their feet, and then everything will become clear to you.

9. It becomes harder for them to speak.

"If you've ever watched videos of guilty suspects being interrogated, you've often seen them find it harder and harder to talk," writes Glass. "This happens because the nervous system automatically reduces saliva production during times of stress, which naturally dries out the lining of your mouth."

Other signals to watch for include sudden biting or pursing of the lips.

Beauty salons are practically a home for many of the fair sex. But did you know that in such a beautiful place, who literally create beauty, you can be shamelessly deceived in order to get more money? The editors of Passion.ru found out the 5 most popular tricks that unscrupulous salons use to fool their customers! Read more about each - in our material!

Lots of procedures

You should be wary if, as soon as you sat in the stylist’s chair, they began to convince you that you have damaged hair that falls out tomorrow if you don’t urgently do 5 expensive restorative procedures. This is usually how salons swindle you into absolutely useless non-working treatments and other manipulations. The same situation is with manicure rooms. But there you will already fall for a new bait: hardware, edged, European, Brazilian and other types of manicure can vary significantly in price. According to the law of the genre, you will be persuaded to make the most expensive of them, although in reality they are not much different.

Injection techniques

Injection techniques are quite expensive. The reason for this is the high price of sterile-packed fillers with drugs, so it is not at all surprising that many salons want to save on the drugs they use. For example, they share one syringe for two patients, which is strictly prohibited and even punishable by law. Each drug must be licensed. The presence of a license is easy to check via the Internet. The package must be sealed. The syringe must have a label and its registration number, which must be entered in the patient's card. For any procedure performed, 2 organizations are responsible - the medical institution where the doctor works and the organization selling the drug. If problems arise, these institutions should solve it jointly.

If the cosmetologist suggests that you divide the syringe into two parts: inject one part now, save the other for later, refuse. The filler must be thrown away after the first use, only the inside of the syringe is sterile, therefore, when opened, the drug loses its sterility.

"Express Diagnostics"

Oh, this salon "express diagnostics"! It is under this name that a thorough examination of the head is listed in some salons, according to the hairdresser, aimed at assessing the condition of the hair and scalp. Remember, if the stylist offers you to make an ill-fated diagnosis, do not agree, because the hairdresser hardly has the education of a trichologist and the necessary equipment, and most ordinary beauty salons simply cannot afford to maintain their own trichologist.

Hair stylists usually sin with express diagnostics, but even among manicure masters there are especially resourceful specialists who will assure you that your rough cuticle is an incredibly critical problem that can be solved by applying magic oil. And diagnostics, of course.

"Top Masters"

A haircut by a top stylist, makeup by a top makeup artist, eyebrow correction by a top browist - all these manipulations essentially have one thing in common: they are not much different from a haircut by an ordinary master in the same salon. However, for the prefix "top" you will have to pay a substantial amount. It is worth recognizing that usually top stylists have more work experience, they constantly raise their level of qualification by participating in various trainings, but it also makes no sense to significantly overpay for their services on the first acquaintance with the salon. The skills of an ordinary stylist speak much more about the quality of the salon than the stuffed hand of a top master.

Salon cosmetics

Did you like the products that the stylist worked with you? Do not rush to buy these products in the salon, no matter how the administrator at the reception convinces you. Nobody forbids you to take a picture of the mask (powder for the roots, styling, shampoo - underline as necessary) and buy them on the Internet without a markup from the salon.

The main thing - remember that they usually deceive and swindle for money those who allow it to be done: people who are led and do not know anything about the condition of their hair, skin or nails. Information is your advantage, so do not be afraid and do not hesitate to ask the stylist questions about the purpose of a particular care procedure, about work experience, about the courses that the stylist took, and then no one can fool you. We wish you beauty!

Recognizing lies is a whole science, let's try to master at least its basics.

Tell me the word "cheese"...

To one degree or another, we all have the ability to recognize deception. Observant people are especially good at this. After all, it is precisely the discrepancy between verbal (that is, verbal) and non-verbal (facial expressions, gestures) behavior that suggests that we are facing a liar.

For example, joy is one of the most desirable human emotions. Every normal person would like not only to experience it more often, but also to see the reflection of joy on the faces of relatives and friends. But, unfortunately, joy is not always sincere. And although sometimes even insincere joy is better than outright hostility, it is often important for us to know whether the joy written on the faces of others is really not a mask?

A situation familiar to everyone: you came to visit, the hostess opens the door and says in a cheerful voice that she is extremely glad of your visit. But something confuses you, something tells you that if you are welcome, then “not to the fullest”. Where do the doubts come from? There is something “wrong” in the mistress's expression, it seems that she is forced to say the word cheese (a proven way to portray joy on her face), but she does not succeed.

In fact, most people tend to trust more than words, but facial expressions. And it is right. After all, controlling facial expressions is much more difficult than speech. A simple example. Sadness, disappointment, fatigue are “written” on the face of a person close to you. "What happened to you?" - "I'm great!". But you understand that this is not true, as in a situation where someone complains about being unwell and lack of money, and at the same time this person has a self-satisfied, joyful expression on his face ...

The Science of Smiling

Let's try to look closely at the faces of people who rejoice quite sincerely. Are there any common features in their joyful smiles? The corners of the lips are pulled back and up, the cheeks are raised, the nasolabial folds go from the nose to the edges of the mouth (that is, down), the crow's feet at the eyes - from the outer corners of the eyes rise to the temples, the lower eyelids are raised.

Of course, in order to correctly and quickly "read" facial expressions, practice is needed. The more often you communicate with different people, the faster you can earn it.

But back to our hospitable (or not so?) hostess. Are her eyebrows too arched and raised? Forehead cross horizontal wrinkles? Is the lower jaw lowered so that it seems that the lips have lost their outlined shape? Finally, the upper eyelids are excessively raised, while the lower ones, on the contrary, are lowered? No doubt she is surprised, and her words that you were looking forward to are not true. Most likely, you were invited to visit, and then they forgot about your invitation. What to do? Act according to the circumstances - after all, sometimes an impromptu can be much more pleasant than a planned courtesy visit.

Of course, both surprise and joy can be mixed with any other emotions. For example, the nose is wrinkled, the upper lip is raised, the lower one is slightly pushed forward. It's already disgusting. A couple more minutes and, perhaps, you will hear fatal words addressed to you: “Who are you? Bye Bye!".

polygraph error

Today, many experts believe, it has become much easier to recognize a lie, because a variety of technical means have come to the rescue, and first of all a lie detector, or a polygraph. And what?

Do liars tremble and speak "the truth, the truth, and nothing but the truth"? Far from it. First, you and I are mostly interested not in solving crimes, but, as a rule, in ordinary everyday lies. Secondly, there are no compact pocket polygraphs in use yet, and you won’t demand that everyone immediately pass a test.

In addition, the vaunted polygraph does not recognize the lie itself, but only the excitement that the specialist must interpret. But often a person tells the truth and is worried that they may not believe him.

For example, when a polygraph test is carried out literally on the eve of an execution in an electric chair (and such cases are known to American justice) - who would not be worried in such a situation? And, on the contrary, highly qualified intelligence officers, whose training program includes practical exercises on the topic “How to fool a polygraph” ...

When they lie, they do not give themselves away with excitement.

Everyone has had to lie at least once in their life. Well, such a phenomenon as self-deception is familiar to everyone. Even the most truthful of us in childhood, at the request of our mother, kissed a nasty aunt or pretended joy in adolescence, receiving some kind of “encyclopedia of a good child” as a gift instead of a live dog. A certain amount of lies is "built into" the foundation of our social structure. You can't do without it. But it's a matter of measure. No wonder American psychologist Arnold Goldberg said: “Like truth, lies have their own norms and their own pathology.”

Personally, I try not to lie. But sometimes, in order not to spoil relations with a person, it is better to simply keep silent about something or, so that a person does not worry too much, to underestimate. Everyone does it, one way or another, and one cannot do without it in life. It is even necessary sometimes. Still, it's best not to lie. Let's live honestly!

We all don't like being lied to. Sometimes we want to know exactly when and how exactly those around us are deceiving us. Well, wishes do come true! In fact, there are many ways to see, hear and recognize lies, and here are the most unexpected and effective of them. Beware, these signs may cause you to stop trusting a person who has seemed honest so far.

A steadfast and uninterrupted gaze

If the interlocutor stares into your eyes, not looking away for a moment, this does not always mean that you are being told the truth and only the truth. Most people prefer not to make eye contact when being lied to, but the hallmark of sociopaths is the ability to lie without looking away. Sociopaths subconsciously perceive close eye contact with the victim's eyes as a form of hypnosis.

Eyes are the mirror of the soul

Not only eye contact can alert you to a lie. The eyes of the interlocutor, even when they are directed to the side, can tell a lot. For example, a sharp look away, frequent blinking, and closing the eyes for a long time indicate that the person is most likely lying to you.

Attempts to hide the face or mouth

Due to the strange nature of the subconscious, which not everyone can control, during deception, liars tend to cover their mouths or their entire faces with their hands. It would seem that these movements only draw attention to the place where the nonsense is coming from, but you can’t argue against the subconscious. An ordinary, average person does not like to lie and feels uncomfortable at the same time, and therefore tries to hide and stop the flow of untruth.

Illogical nods

If you can't focus on the eyes, pay attention to the behavior of the head as a whole. When the interlocutor tells you the truth, he nods affirmatively or negatively and at the same time speaks. If a person is lying, then affirmative or negative nods are made separately from speech, as if they require separate effort and concentration. Sometimes the subconscious also influences the movements of the head. A person says “no” to you, but at the same time nods in the affirmative - this is a clear sign that at least something is not being told to you.

Dry mouth and throat

If the lie is important and complex, the person is very worried about telling it in conversation. Excitement leads to a physiological reaction - dryness in the throat. If your interlocutor often clears his throat or is distracted by a sip of water, it is likely that they are trying to deceive you. In addition, taking a few seconds to moisten your mouth and throat gives you the necessary pause in order to collect your thoughts and lie more convincingly.

Direction of the feet

If you do not want to closely monitor the interlocutor's micromimicry, trying to catch him in a lie, look under the table or down at the speaker's feet. The ubiquitous subconscious and here prompts the way to retreat. During deception, the person's feet, as if automatically, turn towards the door or in the opposite direction from the interlocutor, as if preparing for an imminent escape.

Too many details

Often, in order to avoid a direct answer to a question, people prefer to practically overwhelm us with unnecessary details, probably hoping that we will either get tired or simply forget about the question asked. Extra details and little related to the topic of history allow us to avoid direct answers and get off with a gray half-truth. And the conscience is clear, and the truth does not have to be disclosed ...

Focus on appearance

Subconsciously, each person thinks that during the deception he looks somehow special, and those around him, especially those close to him, can easily figure him out. That is why, when the interlocutor lies, it is very important for him how he looks. He or she begins to straighten hair, collars and ties, smooth skirts, eyebrows and fiddling with sleeves.

Travis Bradbury

People lie. And constantly. There is data Self-Presentation and Verbal Deception: Do Self-Presenters Lie More? that 60% of us manage to lie about three times during a 10-minute conversation (and sometimes we don’t even notice it!). Fortunately, most cheaters are easy to spot.

A person is lying to you if...

1. Covers the mouth and vulnerable parts of the body

The liar often covers his mouth or just touches his lips. Such a gesture indicates a subconscious cessation of communication.

Also, the deceiver instinctively closes vulnerable parts of the body: head, neck, stomach. The reason is that lying makes him prepare to attack.

2. Repetitive and gives too much detail

The liar hates silence, so he tries to fill every second of the conversation with unnecessary details. With the help of these fictitious details, he tries to convince the interlocutor and himself of the veracity of the story.

The deceiver tends to repeat the same phrases.

So he tries to buy time to collect his thoughts.

3. Preparing to retreat

Lies make a person subconsciously look for ways to escape. Therefore, deceivers, if they are standing, approach the door, and if they are sitting, they turn to the exit.

If the interlocutor suddenly ceases to be in a relaxed position and becomes more collected, this can also be a sign of a lie. On his part, this is another way to prepare for the retreat.

4. His words and body language don't match.

An obvious sign of deception is a contradiction between the person's words and the ones he sends.

A vivid example: someone tells a tragic and serious story about his life, while smiling and acting quite lively.

5. His breathing changes

The deceiver reflexively begins to breathe heavily, as the heart rate changes due to the lie. Sometimes it is even difficult for a liar to speak, because his mouth dries up - this is another reaction of the body to a lie.

6. Atypically moving eyes

It cannot be said that any one direction of view speaks of deception. If you know a person well enough, then an unusual eye movement for him may indicate a lie.

However, there is still one universal way to detect a liar by the eyes: if the interlocutor constantly looks at the door, it is possible that he is lying to you.

7. Becomes aggressive

The best defense is an attack. That is why the deceiver is prone to sudden and unreasonable outbursts of rage.

Another aggressive signal that he subconsciously sends is a long, unblinking look.

So the liar tries to look more truthful, but instead he inspires horror and at the same time gives himself away.

8. Nervous

Any manifestation of excessive anxiety can signal a lie. This includes fidgeting in a chair, constant touching of the hair, nervous movements of the arms and legs. The last point is especially indicative: if a person moves his legs a lot, then his body is preparing to escape. That is, subconsciously he feels threatened.

Important clarification

Before accusing someone, take a closer look at his behavior. If a person constantly sends the signals listed above, it is not at all necessary that you have a pathological liar in front of you. Perhaps he is just naturally fussy or suffers from ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

The situation can be reversed: someone is lying to you, but does not show the described signs. This is how psychopaths can behave because they don't feel guilty or anxious about being deceived. Fortunately, we calculate them too.